This picture is shared on a creative commons license by the More Good Foundation

This picture is propaganda.

I grew up in an Evangelical Christian home, and there were two things I knew for certain I needed to do in order to be a good Christian: daily quiet time, and family devotions.

Of course you need to go to church. Anybody can go to church. But daily quiet time and family devotions? That meant you took your faith seriously.  Which is how I came to know with certainty that I was not a great Christian. If I ever forgot, pictures like this would remind me.

There’s only one problem. This picture is propaganda. It is not an authentic moment from the life of an authentic family. How can you tell?  Heads tilted, all on one side of the table, everyone’s smiling. Specially designed stand just to hold a ring-bound workbook. Little girl pointing to the picture, teaching her big sister, and they’re both smiling gently. No one’s really teaching. No one’s really learning. Everyone just knows… and smiles… because just knowing is so good. This is not a real family. It is a carefully crafted image designed to make you feel something.

Look how happy they are. Wouldn’t you like to be that happy? And they’re all together, spending time together instead of running around stressed and crazy. See how Dad is actually home instead of at work, or down at the bar? And the kids are so well-behaved. And look at the wife. See how she sits so nicely with her hands folded and her mouth shut? Wouldn’t you like that in your life?

It’s easy to poke fun at someone else’s work, especially since most advertising isn’t really meant to be looked at. It’s meant to be glanced at. It’s designed to plant an impression in your mind, not to make you think.  But I’m betting there’s still something you missed. Because I missed it the first time I saw this picture too. I didn’t notice it until I sat down this week to focus on our reading.

The Pharisees were challenging Jesus, “Why don’t your disciples wash their hands before they eat?” Hand washing was one of many rituals the rabbis had recommended through the years. It wasn’t really in scripture, but it was definitely in the commentaries. Imagine all the reasons why washing your hands before you eat is a good idea. It looks better. It smells better. It’s got good symbolism. It gives you time to transition so you don’t just mindlessly stuff your face. Good hygiene leads to a healthier, longer life. They didn’t understand germs, of course, but they weren’t stupid. They had eyes and brains. There were lots of good reasons to wash your hands.

But Jesus’ disciples are just backwater fishermen. They don’t have much in the way of learning, and probably less in the way of manners. They just grab the food and chow down. That’s fine for fishermen, but Jesus is a rabbi. The habits of the student reflect on the teacher, and in this case it’s not good.

Jesus comes back at them by quoting one of the Ten Commandments: honor your father and mother. That’s almost as basic as you can get. It’s not the greatest commandment or the golden rule, but it’s close. It’s the kind of thing we teach to third graders in Sunday School.

It would be kind of like challenging a math professor to a debate and he says, “Well there are these things called numbers and when you add them together you get a result.”

Jesus tells them “The law says honor your father and mother, but you tell people if they dedicate their money to the church, they don’t have to take care of their parents. You nullify the law with your traditions, and you do it all the time.”

That’s your clue. Now go back and look at the picture, and see if you can spot what’s missing. “You tell people to dedicate their money to God so they won’t have to take care of their parents.”

This picture is shared on a creative commons license by the More Good Foundation

Are these kids responsible for taking care of their parents? Their parents are still taking care of them. Which means Jesus wasn’t talking to kids. He was talking to adults, who should have been taking care of…  Exactly, their aging parents.  So who is missing from this picture?

Yes!  Where’s grandma? Where’s grandpa? Where are the aunts and the uncles and the cousins? We read the Bible and whenever we see the word family, this pops into our head.  But this is propaganda! This didn’t exist in biblical times. So here’s a trick. Whenever you read your Bible and you see the word “family”. In your head, say “tribe,” and see if it makes more sense. It’s not a perfect fit, but it’ll shock your brain out of its usual way of thinking.

The root unit of culture is not the nuclear family. The root unit of culture is the extended family. We, as a culture, have forgotten the extended family, and the results are predictable.

Each generation feels isolated from the one that came before, and our elders live in nursing homes. Only the very lucky receive visitors. We have trimmed the family until all that’s left is this, and this is propaganda, because when in the world does this actually happen?

When he’s got a job, and she’s got a job, and both of the kids have after school clubs, and homework, and if they’re old enough, jobs of their own, when exactly is this supposed to happen?

There was a time when Grandma and Grandpa could have helped with babysitting, or your cousins with your homework. There was a time when you turned a certain age and your parents magically transformed into the stupidest people on the planet, when you could run away to an aunt or an uncle’s house, and you would be safe, and warm, and fed until your teenager-y brain finally reset itself, and you could go home.

But most of us don’t have those resources anymore. We’ve spread our families all over the map, cutting ourselves off from each other, until all that’s left is this. Or something we feel vaguely guilty doesn’t look quite as good as this.

Brothers and sisters, guilt is not the answer to our problem; a loving extended family is the answer to our problem. Well, gee. Where, O where, could I find some extended family? Where in the middle of America’s homogenized individualist culture, could you still find something that resembles a tribe?

Yup.

When you don’t have family, you make family. Jesus took 12 guys who didn’t even know how to wash their hands properly, and turned them into a family. In him, we become adopted members of the family of God, and by the power of his Spirit, we are one.

At the bare minimum, that means we take of each other. We watch out for each other. We encourage and support one another. Whatever we do, we strive to do it in an intergenerational way. Because the adopted grandparents in this room need the kids just as much as those children desperately need grandparents. Just as much stressed out parents need help, that’s exactly how much brother and sisters in Christ benefit from becoming aunts and uncles.

Have you ever noticed how much of the Bible is centered on the outsiders? The widow, the fatherless, the stranger? Some people say that’s because God has a preference for the poor. But  Jesus says that the sun shines on us all, and the rain falls on the just and the unjust alike. So there must be another reason.

Perhaps God teaches us to take special care of the widow and the fatherless and the stranger specifically because they do not have families to take care of them. They are alone and therefore vulnerable. What we call the Old Testament is founded on the assumption of extended and loving family.

Yes, we should care for the outsider. How could you possibly follow Jesus and do anything else? And maybe that ends with a new law, or social program, or a gift sent to some far-away land. Maybe. We can have a great argument over what to do, and when, and how much. But that’s not where it starts.

Unless our definition of the word “family” expands beyond the edges of this staged picture, our children will be orphans, we will be strangers, and our elders will die alone. That’s where it starts. Build a family, a real family, an extended family. Then you’ll be able to critique culture instead of just flowing along with it. You’ll have a firm place to stand if you want to pull someone up. And you’ll have something to give if you meet someone in need.

Stop chasing someone else’s picture. Look around you and be grateful for all you have received.

“It has been said long ago that there were three classes of people in the world… The first is that large class of people who talk about people; the next class are those who talk about things; and the third class are those who discuss ideas…” (H. J. Derbyshire, “Origin of Mental Species”, 1919)

“That’s because small minds don’t want to be wrong. Average minds want to be right, and great minds want to be true.” (Pastor Rob Brink, “This sermon”, 2012)

A few people have suggested I get my doctorate, but the fact is, I’ve never been a great student, because more than anything I wanted to be right. You wouldn’t have liked me. I was that annoying kid who always raised his hand. If I could go back now, I wouldn’t like me.

I had, hands down, one of the coolest Latin teachers, ever. Every Friday, we would ask Mr. Grogan, “Can we go buy some Dunkin’ Donuts for the class?” And he would say, “Of course not. What are you thinking? This is a school. An institution of higher learning. I can’t let students just go off and buy donuts.”

“Sorry, sir. Can I have a bathroom pass?”

“Here you go!”

Coolest. Latin teacher. Ever. And yet to this day, I can’t do Latin. Because every night, instead of translating in my head, I would use the conjugation chart. Match up the ending, find the part of speech and you’re done.  Until you have to take a test, when you won’t have a conjugation chart in front of you. Most students would have given up and, I don’t know, learned Latin. You know what I did? Memorized the conjugation chart. I wrote it out from memory on the back of my test, and then used it to decode the test. Got all the answers write, never learned Latin. Because I was more interested in being right, than being true.

In spite of my best efforts, I had a few amazing teachers who forced me to truly learn. I didn’t realize until much later, they all used the same method.

I didn’t learn about writing; I wrote. I didn’t learn about editing; I edited. I did learn a bit about Western Civ, but the tests were not multiple choice. They’d project a painting on the wall, or some architecture, or play a bit of music, and you either knew what it was, or you didn’t. There was no hiding in these classes, there was no gamesmanship or influence. It didn’t matter if you were cute or funny or smart. In those places, the light of truth revealed reality.

An ancient church tradition calls this Bright Sunday. Lent is work, and Easter is solemn, but Bright Sunday was a celebration.  People might tell jokes or play pranks, let the kids be in charge for a day. Some modern churches have restored this ancient custom, calling it Holy Humor Sunday. And underneath it, there’s some very good theology.

Have you ever noticed that the very best comedians are storytellers? And they don’t make up fantastical tales. They talk about real life, just regular stuff: growing up, falling in love, getting old. And it doesn’t have to be big stuff either, just everyday things like watching TV, going to the store. It’s all the same things we do; yet somehow when they tell it, it’s hilarious! How does that happen?

They see the absurdity we’ve learned to ignore. If every Sunday, Christians are celebrating Jesus rose from the grave, why do most of them act like they’re at a funeral? Because that’s the way we’ve always done it. That’s the way we were taught.

Imagine you’re 8 years old, and you go to church with your family, sitting right next to your mom or dad, all dressed up in your Sunday best. And the preacher starts reading about Jesus. You like hearing about Jesus so you lean forward and listen. And the preacher says, “Oh you Pharisees, you strain out a gnat and you swallow a camel.”

And in your head you imagine a bible times guy, with the robe and the flip flops and the bandana thing, and you imagine him leaning back and opening his mouth wider and wider, and the first thing to go in is that ugly slobbery camel face, and then that long floppy neck, two hairy humps, four big knobby knees, and the very last thing you see is that big floppy camel foot. Sllllluuuurp!

And you’re 8 years old. You do the natural thing, right?  *snort!*  And what happens next? You know what happens next!  *smack!* And heaven help you if you get the giggles. Keep picturing those knobby camel knees. *glump* You better not get the giggles, because you know what happens then. Walk you right out the back door.

“What. Do. You. Think. You. Are. Doing?! This is church! And that’s the day you start to learn. You learn not to see it. You learn not to hear it. Because if you really heard it, if you really pictured it in your mind, you would laugh. You can’t help it!

Adam and Eve eat the fruit, and they hid from God, and God goes for a walk in the morning and says, “Where are you?” Like he doesn’t know? The only two people on the planet and God forgot where he put them? Or maybe it’s those new clothes. They just blend in.

Abraham hears that God is going to destroy Sodom and Gomorra because it’s full of evil. And Abraham starts to bargain, with God. “But what if there are innocent people in there? You don’t kill innocent people. What if there were 50 innocents, would you spare the town?

Yes, for 50 I would spare the town.

What about 45?

For 45 I would spare the town.

40? 20? 10?

For 10 I would spare the town.

God is the worst bargainer ever! It’s like when the Women’s Fellowship runs the Christmas Bazaar down in the basement, and they’ve got the little tchotchke table with all the little trinkets on it, and they’re each marked at a buck. And you know what happens every single year?

Some little old lady picks up a tchotchke, brings it over. “It says a dollar on here. Would you take a quarter?” You think I’m kidding. This happens every year! “How about a dime. Would you take a dime?” And then they pull out a little change purse and hand you the dime like they just made some major purchase. I’d wrap it up for you, but the tissue paper costs more than ten cents!

This stuff pops up all over the place in the Bible. Not from Paul so much. Paul is one intense man. But Jesus was funny. Not silly, stupid funny. Sarcastic. Fiercely intelligent.

The Pharisees complain that he runs with a rough crowd, and he says, “John the Baptist lived like a hermit out in the desert, ate nothing but locusts and honey, and wore clothes made from camel’s hair. And you said, “He has a demon!” I live in town, wear regular clothes, eat regular food, hang out with regular people and you say, “Oh, look!  A glutton and a drunkard.”

“You’re all proud of yourself because you give ten percent of everything even down to your spice rack, and yet your parents starve. You know all 613 laws of the Torah, and you’ve read all the commentaries, but you skipped the Ten Commandments”

“You keep saying these people need help. I’m a doctor. Where am I supposed to go? Hang out with all the well people? You keep saying you’re not sick. You know the truth. Fine! You don’t need me. Get out of the way!”

That’s Rob’s translation. “This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light.” God reveals the truth of what is. Yes, that can be painful. Yes, that can be embarrassing. Yes, it would be much easier to just hide in the darkness. But that’s not joy; that’s ignorance. That’s like not going to the doctor because you might find out you have cancer. You know what stinks worse than finding out you have cancer? Finding out you have stage-three cancer and it’s now too late to operate. We know it’s dumb. But we do it all the time. Because we’re afraid.

“I write this to you to make your joy complete. God is light. In him is no darkness at all.” Let me ask you something. This may be important to you. This may help some of you. So pay attention.

Has a candle ever made you feel guilty? Ashamed? Embarrassed? Show of hands. How many of you have nice bright lights right above your bathroom mirror? Whose dumb idea was that? You get up in the morning. You got pillow creases on your face. Sleep in your eyes. Drool dried onto the side of your chin. You come stumbling into the bathroom. Turn on the light. “Oh! Good. Euuhhh! Just. Turn it off! Go take a shower. Try again later.”

Actually, that’s just the girls. You know what they guys do? *pose* *flex*  “Yep. Still got it.”

It’s never easy to see things as they are. We’re afraid. We’re biased. And frankly, it’s just plain work. Because once you see it, you can’t un-see it.

For example, when you put a key in a door why do you always have to guess which way is unlock? And batteries. I know there has to be some electrical engineering reason why they all have to go flip, flop, flip, flop. Is it really so much work to run a little wire up to here so you can go pop, pop, pop, pop? And gas tanks. Why don’t car companies just pick a side? That way, whenever I borrow my wife’s car, I don’t have to pull into the gas station, get out of the car, realize I’m an idiot, get back into the car, turn around so everyone else knows I’m an idiot too. I bet the people inside the gas station are going, “Heheh. Got another one. Oh look, it’s Pastor Rob. Again.

Yeah, you laugh now, but I’ve infected you. Now every time you unlock a door and then pull on it and it’s still locked, or change batteries twice because you put them in wrong, or a see snarled mess at the gas station with cars all blocked in and facing each other, you’ll know. It doesn’t have to be this way. Someone, somewhere just doesn’t care enough to fix it.

That’s the real problem with light. That’s the real power of humor. It takes the truth you’ve learned to ignore and makes it funny enough you can’t help but look at it. And once you see it, you can’t forget it.

Stupid humor mocks people.

Good humor sees people.

Great humor changes people.

John is called the Apostle of Love. “I write this to make your joy complete… I write,” he says, “so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin…” You hear the gentleness in that? See the light of truth? And feel the lack of shame? God knows who and what we are. And his verdict is love.

You know what other book John wrote? Revelation. And when Jesus comes at the end of Revelation to wipe out the enemies of God, he slays them with a sword that comes from his mouth. Our weapons are not of this world. Words are our only sword, and humor is its edge.

First preached at First Congregational Church of Saugatuck on April 15, 2012.
Things that Make You Go, “Huh?” is licensed under a   Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.  Link to RevSmilez.com.

What’s the number one reason people reject church? That’s right! “The church is full of hypocrites.” That’s awesome! You know why? It makes our job sooo much simpler. We don’t have to educate them. We don’t need to explain the mysteries of trinity and incarnation. All we have to do is live it.  Sounds simple, right? But there’s one huge problem.

One of my online friends (from Allegiance, greatest free multiplayer game ever)  said something this week that highlights the problem perfectly. He says, “The stupidity, arrogance and callousness of people when it comes to the wonderful and fragile web of life here keeps amazing me. Why are so many blind to what a treasure we have? I also have absolutely no respect for anybody who thinks their religion tells them that this is a false and temporary world, and how we treat it doesn’t matter since the real rewards are in some afterlife. Even if you believe it was all created by God(s), shouldn’t that make it all sacred and holy?” He’s not worried about whether Jesus is the Son of God. He’s worried that we’ll use our faith as an excuse.

When I was in Bible College I had a friend who said without exaggeration. “I don’t recycle. This whole world is going to burn anyway. What’s the point?” Her faith in God was her excuse for leaving the world a dirtier place than she found it.

My sister is a total tree hugger, and when I told her what I was preaching on today, she said, “I know exactly what you mean. I have a friend who refuses to recycle. When I asked her why, she said, “The rapture is coming. We’re all going to get taken away, so why bother?”

It’s right there in our text today. “Behold, I will make a new heaven and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind” If that’s true then this world is disposable. We can do whatever we want. It doesn’t matter.

Talk back time. What character traits make a good employee? A good friend? A good politician? What character traits make a good person?

In classical times, these were called virtues. Plato listed the four chief virtues as: Temperance (what we would call self control) prudence (which means choosing the appropriate action for the context), courage, and justice. These virtues form the foundation of what we call a free society. A lack virtue destroys society.

This is what people mean when they say all religions teach basically the same thing. All religions are trying to create virtuous people. It’s not strictly true. If you look under the hood, how each religion defines virtue and how they say you get there are often very different. But in a broader sense, sure, all the great religions would essentially agree that not being a jerk is a good idea. Yet, when people think of Christians, do they think of virtue, or do they think of jerks?

If you only hear one thing today, hear this.  Virtue is a result.

You cannot argue someone into virtue because argument sways the mind. Suppose it works. Suppose you’re brilliant, persistent, and persuasive enough to get someone to agree with you. They’re still stuck with the same problem you are. Willpower is finite and your appetites are not. If you’re trying to will yourself into being a better person, you will lose.

Benjamin Franklin actually tried it. He made a list of virtues and dedicated himself to perfecting them. He would focus all his mind and will toward a single virtue and when he felt he had conquered it, he would move on to the next. You know what he found? He couldn’t hold onto them all. As soon as he got good at a new virtue, one of the old ones would start to slip. You cannot will yourself not to sin any more than an alcoholic can will himself not to drink. Short term, you might win. Long term, you will lose.

This is where we get to push back a little bit on those people who bash the church. The church is full of hypocrites, right?  You read the papers lately? For every one story about scandal or abuse in the church, I’ll show you five in the world of business or finance or politics.

The problem of virtue isn’t the church’s problem. It’s a human problem. Unfortunately, that doesn’t help us much. Can you imagine that in our next ad campaign? “FCC Saugatuck, no more corrupt than your average politician.” How’s that for a ringing endorsement? Makes you want to go to church, right?

How did the saints do it? They recognized that that virtue is not a goal. It is a result. God is light and life and love, and when they approached that truth, all their falsehood became glaringly obvious. This is the mark that all the saints have in common. They shared a radical humility and a passion for change. In the light of God’s perfection, they caught a vision of themselves and the world is at is, and then they moved. Relationship gave birth to vision. Vision gave birth to virtue.  Virtue is a result, which means we’re starting at the wrong end of the story.

The relationship doesn’t start with a new heaven and a new earth. That’s the end of the story. It starts “in the beginning”. God is light, life and love. Because that is God’s nature, God made creation to share that life, light, and love. But we chose death, darkness and hatred. Now God is doing a new thing. God is putting it right. That is the story of the Bible, and it leads to the choice of our lives.

Will we join him, watch him, or fight him? You’re here because you said yes. Which means settling for an average amount of virtue is not an option. You’re here because you want to more. So, how do we do that?

First, remember the story. Read everything in that context. The Bible says God will forgive me, so I can do what I want, right? The Bible says there will be a new heaven and a new earth, so I don’t need to take care of this one right? The Bible says Jesus is the way, so all non-Christians are fair game, right?

Wrong! John 3:16: for God so loved the world. Not you, only. Not this church, only. The world. And you wrecking it is in direct conflict with the Lord of love you claim to serve.

God is saving the world, and the Bible says God forgives, so I’d better forgive. God is saving the world, and the Bible says God’s making a new heaven and a new earth, so I better grab a shovel. God is saving the world, and the Bible says Jesus is the way, so I’d better make a friend. Read everything the context of the story, and then decide. Am I going to fight against this, am I going to watch it happen, or am I going to help?

Two. Get active, and stay active in a local church. My dad got the boys a stone polishing machine. Have you seen these? You put in a rough, ugly rock with some sand, and you turn it and turn it and turn it. And very slowly, the sand scrubs the rough edges off and the inner beauty of the stone shines through. If you took one rock and threw it in alone, it would bang around while and come out roughly the same. If threw five rocks in together, they’d knock each other to powder. But the sand is persistent and gentler.

Brother and sisters, that’s church. You cannot will yourself into virtue. You need help.  This is a testing ground because at least here you know people are trying to be decent. Virtue is hard, so this is where we come to learn and to plan. When we want to slack, these people will get us back on track. That’s what our second reading is about today. Let no one be idle. Do not grow weary in doing what is right. But when someone does, hold them accountable with the tools of relationship, not force or political power. Relationship. Our weapons are not of this world.

Three. You have one and only one goal: to draw close to God. The nearer we get to God, the more clearly we see our own brokenness and the brokenness of the world. Were we on our own, that revelation might lead us to despair, isolation, and pessimism. But we are not alone, and the size of our problems is dwarfed by the size of our God. So, when those around us are ready to quit, we’re just getting started. Where they see impossibility we see opportunity. Where they hear rattle of chains, we hear the winds of change, because God is saving the world. We can fight it, or we can watch it, or we can help.

“Faith is not an Excuse” by Rev. Robert J. Brink is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

Recently, Netflix posted its second-quarter earnings, showing that it continues to do well. You might know that this company began by sending movies to their customers in the mail, but according to tech-business analysts, their growing success is because Netflix recognizes that the future is in “Streaming”: sending movies directly over the internet to a customer’s computer or TV. In response to this, a prominent Christian leader used Twitter to remark, “Meanwhile, the Church has very little Web content.”

A Christian magazine to which I subscribe, (actually- and ironically- a “digizine”, since everything comes over the internet!) was prompted to wonder, “Is this because Pastors and church leadership don’t realize the potential of the internet, or are they uncertain about how to harness its power?” They concluded it was the latter, and had several suggestions for improving effective use of the Web to promote a church.

I had an immediate emotional response to this news, and honestly, it came mostly from my own rather cold relationship with modern technology. I am not very comfortable with computers; my familiarity with what they can do is limited to eMail and using it as a glorified typewriter. I also have very little patience to sit in front of it and “surf the web”.

Furthermore, I am increasingly mystified and occasionally irritated, that so much “social networking” is going on, when in fact there is less and less time spent between people in actual face-to-face conversations. There is a small rebellion against this trend going on among some businesses in the Holland and Zeeland area. There are groups of business representatives who get together once a month to eat lunch and (gasp!) talk, exchange business cards, and refer customers. How 19th-century can you get?

Despite my personal disaffection- or lack of interest, really- in modern technology, I recognize that many other people use the internet for their news, shopping, research and generally keeping up with others in their lives. I think it is because so many do, and increasingly more do every year, that churches and Christian groups think it is imperative that we get on board, and “take advantage of every opportunity”, as Ephesians 5:16 tells us. Of course there should be good Christian content available on the internet, but I believe that Christians should remember, and the content should stress, that an online experience is only a part- and a small one- of what an actual (as opposed to virtual) church experience should be.

That said, part of my negative reaction to the Netflix news was founded in more than just my personal flat-earth mindset. It also had to do with the mistakes that churches have made in the past when they have unquestioningly thought that “what works for business must work for us”. A church is not a business, and the Church is not a business. Businesses have very different outcomes in mind, and therefore their means may not be compatible with what churches should be doing.

Let’s go back to Netflix for an example: Netflix wants to maximize its profits by making it as easy as possible for someone to get their product without inconveniencing themselves in the least. Their success in pursuing this aim has pretty much dismantled the video store model. Why hassle with the rental place when you can have it brought to your mailbox? No bothersome human interactions there, unless you happen to bump into the mailman. What is the only thing that kept the video store on life support? Our impatience: if I have to wait 24 hours or more to get the movie I want, I may just run over to the rental place. Netflix then brought out direct-to-computer movies, which meant that a customer could get whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted it. This was the final nail in the coffin for the brick-and-mortar store, and Movie Gallery, the last big national chain, is the latest casualty.

Now, that’s business- it’s competitive, it’s dog-eat-dog, and while we may think it is sad to see a business like Blockbuster go under, it is the same thing that happened to stables and livery companies with the wide adoption of the automobile.

So, a key difference between business and the church is that they ultimately want different things: businesses want our money, and they will try to offer us a product or service priced, packaged and delivered in such a way that we will part with our money. That means, as Netflix recognized, that it can play to our laziness, our impatience, our selfishness and our personal convenience and that dovetails neatly with their making money.

Is any part of that philosophy consistent with the Church? Isn’t what God is asking people to do less convenient, less selfish, less lazy and less insulated than they would otherwise tend to be?

I saw a cartoon once depicting the “Lite Church”. Its sign in front advertised things like, “Home of the 7% tithe”, “Only 8 of 10 Commandments- your choice”, etc. It reflected the temptation every church faces to play the same game other businesses and services do, all in the name of attracting people and filling pews.

We should offer compelling reasons to get out of the house and be together, worship together, and work together, but those compelling reasons should not be targeted at our selfish inclinations.

Churches should try, within reason, to make it as easy as possible for people to access what they offer- handicap accessibility, parking, a safe nursery, listening assistance, etc. are areas where we have realized in recent years we have to pay more attention. Churches should try to avoid being dull, boring and routine, but they cannot make entertainment their priority. They should try to have engaging programs and curricula for the children, but they should never become Chuck E. Cheese. They should try to be “seeker friendly”, but they must not neglect the responsibility to make disciples. Neither should those who attend church expect that a church’s aims and methods are the same as those places that just want their money. If we are too quick to jump on every business, culture, or technological trend that comes along, we will sometimes be utilizing models and techniques that actually work against our very reason for being!

Netflix might honestly make the attractive promise that their customers can fully enjoy the benefits of their services with a minimum of messy human interaction. The Church must honestly promise that the full benefits of discipleship can only be realized with human interaction- joyful, supportive, inconvenient and sometimes messy. The Christian must ask him or herself, “Am I a customer, or a disciple? Are my expectations of the church those of a consumer, or a servant?”

It is in God’s plan and wisdom that we become more like Jesus in the company of others becoming more like Jesus. There’s no money in that- but there is eternal profit.

Welcome to Saugatuck, the coolest small town in America.  Sure, we came in 4^th if you’re just counting votes, but we were competing against towns 6 to 8 times our own size. That means on a per capita basis, we win. Each one of you, just by sitting here today is now orders of magnitude cooler than everyone else. You are awesome.

“Coolest small town in America” is a great slogan, perfect for this world. It provides social proof. “It must be cool. Look how many votes it got. I have to go. It’s the coolest per capita town in America. I’ll be cooler just by being there.”

God’s priorities are different. When we look at Jesus, we see God as God truly is. So who does Jesus hang out with? Traitors, drunks, and hookers. You know what this church needs? More drunks. This is Saugatuck, right? Jesus was a rabble rouser. He hung out with a rough crowd, and his disciples weren’t nearly pious enough to please the religious.

Look at Paul. Perfect example. That guy burning Korans down in Florida has nothing on Paul. Paul doesn’t burn your holy book. He tracks you down, kicks in your door and drags you off to jail. A mob decides to kill a Christian by chucking rocks at him till he dies. Paul is right there holding their coats, looking on with approval. In the end, God gets a hold of him, and you know what Paul has to say about it? He sums it all up in one sentence. “Christ came to save sinners, of whom I am the chief.”

I think we should start a new tradition. Members of the church need to get this verse tattooed across their forehead. “Christ came to save sinners, of whom I am the chief.”

The only problem with the idea is that as soon as it caught on someone would have to go get their tattoo done in a special font, or backwards so they could read it in a mirror. Someone else sees that and decides theirs needs to be in bold with two colors, until finally someone shaves their entire head and has the verse written all over the place in 12 different languages. “I’m the chief sinner. No, I’m the chief! No, I’m the chief.”  Isn’t it amazing how quickly we can turn humility into a contest?

The primary word here isn’t chief. It’s sinner. “Hold on there preacher man, I didn’t come here to get yelled at. Sinner is an ugly word. Can’t you say something positive?  Sure I can. I’m absolutely positive that I am a sinner. I’m pretty sure you are too.

The proper response to “Christ came to save sinners” isn’t awwww. It’s Wooo hoooo! The world says pride is the key to the good life and that humility equals humiliation. Jesus says just the opposite.

Jesus talks about leaving the 99 good sheep and searching for the lost one. He talks about a tearing your house apart to find one lost coin. And when the work is done and the lost is found, what do we do? Throw a party! Is this a story about humiliation? It’s about recognizing hidden value and doing whatever it takes to get it back.

Self-hatred is a trick. Thinking too little of yourself is just as dangerous as thinking too highly because in both cases all you’re thinking about is yourself. True humility focuses on God. The word sinner means nothing more or less than separation from God. As far as our lives are separated from God, so far are we sinners. And whatever that distance may be, that is exactly the distance God is crossing to touch your heart today.

Remember Paul, standing there holding coats while the crowds threw rocks at Stephen’s head? If he was half the hard case he thought he was, why wasn’t he chucking rocks himself? When he finally meets Jesus on the Damascus road, he hears a voice that says, “It’s hard for you to kick against the goads.” That’s why he was holding coats. Because God was there knocking on the door of his heart, pricking his conscience, goading him away from consequences he would have to live with for the rest of his life. God was already there, even on his darkest day.

Lovely, lovely sinner, God is searching for you . You are precious to him. Do you imagine that applies only to the sinners who showed up for church today? Angels rejoice over you today because you at least have turned around. You’ve found friends for the journey and food for the road.

What about all of them out there, those of low reputation, the ones who are trapped in consequences of choices they wish they could undo, the ones on the edge of despair? They’ve been burned so many times, they can’t imagine anyone could love them. They can’t trust any more. You think God loves them less? If you’re the 99, then the good shepherd is out there somewhere right now, searching for the one.

That sounds great in a sermon, but why would a drunk want to come to church? Should we start using real wine in communion? How about rock and roll hymns. That’s what they play in the bars, right? How can we make church more appealing so they’ll want to come?

That’s the wrong question.

Jesus didn’t sit in the temple and wait for sinners to decide that church is cool. The widow didn’t wait for her money to show up. The good shepherd didn’t wait for the sheep to wander home again. What do they do? They go. They search. You think my weekly schedule is an accident? I’m trying to set you and example as I try to follow one.

Jesus went to them and he offered them what they couldn’t find: acceptance, forgiveness, hope, purpose, healing, and love. Religious people go through this life afraid the world might infect them with sin, Jesus walked right into the middle of it and infected it with love.

I expect you to go out there this week and raise a ruckus. I’d like nothing more than to hear some pious religious person say, “First Congregational Church? I’d never go there. That’s where all the drunks hang out.”

"Smiley detail" by renaisancechambara on a Creative Commons License

Here are a few jokes from our Holy Humor Sunday, where we tried to answer the question, “If Jesus rose from the grave, how come his followers look like they’re stuck in a funeral?”

Jokes about pastors:

• Each Sunday, the old pastor would pull out his pocket-watch on a long chain, and he’d place it gently on the pulpit in front of him. One day a little girl whispered in her grandpa’s ear, “Grandpa, what does that watch mean?” Grandpa said, “Not a thing, honey. Not a thing.”
• We’re a non-denominational church. We’ll take your fives, your tens, your twenties – any denomination you like.
• A pillar of the community dies and the whole town gathers for the funeral. The mayor gets up and places a one hundred dollar bill in the casket. The judge gets up and places a second hundred dollar bill in the casket. Then the  Pastor gets up, writes a check for three hundred, and takes two hundred out.

Jokes about the Bible

• A little boy decided he was going to read the Bible, so he opened his grandma’s huge, old leather-bound bible that had been passed down through the family for generations. As he turned the pages, a fragile, old pressed leaf fell out. He gently picked it up and ran to his grandma, “Grandma! Grandma! I found Adam’s underwear!”

Jokes about Church

• During his weekly children’s sermon, the Pastor asked the kids, “Why is it so important that we be quiet in church.” A little one answered, “Because people are sleeping.”
• A man pulls his pastor aside and says, “I need your advice. I think my wife is trying to poison me.” The pastor promises to look into it and calls him back a week later. “I talked to your wife… I talked to your wife for three hours… Take the poison.”
• You know the definition of a good Baptist brother? Someone who recognizes you on Sunday morning at church, but not on Saturday night at the liquor store.

Jokes about prayer

• A man was circling the block searching for a parking spot. Finally, after the third time around, he prays, “God, if you help me find a parking spot, I will go to church every Sunday and tithe ten percent of my income.” Immediately, a spot opens up, and the man prays, “Never mind, I found one.”

A trinity joke!

Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, but it’s kind of like three.

Have any good church jokes to share? Leave a comment.

“If by means of its ministrations, the community round about the church is steadily becoming more Christian;

if kindness, sympathy, purity, justice, good-will, are increasing in their power over the lives of men;

if business methods are becoming less rapacious;

if employers and employed are more and more inclined to be friends rather than foes;

if politicians are growing conscientious and unselfish;

if the enemies of society are in retreat before the forces of decency and order;

if amusements are becoming purer and more rational;

if polite society is getting to be simpler in its tastes and less ostentatious in its manners and less extravagant in its expenditures;

if poverty and crime are diminishing;

if parents are becoming more wise and firm in the administration of their sacred trust, and children more loyal and affectionate to their parents,

–if such fruits as these are visible on every side, then there is reason to believe that the church knows its business and is prosecuting it with efficiency.

If none of these effects are seen in the life of the community, the evidence is clear that the church is neglecting its business, and that failure must be written across its record.

From “The Church and Modern Life”
by Washington Gladden, 1836-1918

What say you? Is Gladden’s measure a useful one? If so, how is the church measuring up? If not, how would you measure and rate the church’s effectiveness?

And now we’re getting good press for it. Tom Heine posted a story about it in his blog for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. Thanks to Mr. Heine for the article, to the county for the help, to the workers for slogging through mud and rain, and to everyone who has donated money to get this project started. We’re not done yet! You can help by donating time, native plants, or money. Interested parties may contact the church.

Economics teaches us that everyone benefits when people specialize. If I focus on sermons and the Beatles focus on songwriting, at the end of the year we write a large number of sermons and songs, some of which are good. If the Beatles and I don’t specialize, but try to do a little of both, we wind up with less total sermons and songs, and fewer of high quality. (On a side note, it’s oddly fun to write “the Beatles and I”.)

I’m not trying to demean the church. We already outsource. We let the preacher handle the sermons, the secretary handle the bulletin, the custodian handle the building. Sometimes we let talented volunteers step up: painters, carpenters, etc. But what if we didn’t limit ourselves to just church members, or local businesses?

What if you outsourced the sermon via the net? I know a lot of churches that can’t afford a full time minister. What would that even look like? I can’t imagine an aging country church gathering in the old building, watching a TV screen. Is there a situation where it would work? A strictly on-line church, maybe?

What if you outsourced the youth ministry? The majority of churches can’t pay a youth minister. Some churches already collaborate on youth events, but it would take an amazing amount of trust to send our kids to some other church for teaching. What if they never came back? What if they didn’t turn out like us? Is fear the only thing holding us back? Are we building God’s kingdom, or just protecting our institution?

What if you outsourced the book-keeping? I know way too many churches have no clue who their members are because their records are not up to date. A secondary advantage of outsourcing is that the specialists enforce appropriate standards. If we outsourced our financials, I bet those companies would require us to adopt some best practices to prevent fraud if for no other reason than to protect themselves from liability.

Are there some things that could never be outsourced? The sermon seems like a tough one in most contexts. The sacraments too, since by definition they’re live, in-person, experiences. No reason we all have to be in one room for board meetings. No reason we have to rely only on church members to do the administrative grunt work work of the church, especially if others can do it better. No reason that we all have to be in the same room to learn, or make friends. But the real work of the church (visiting the sick and the prisoner, serving the poor and the outcast , communal worship) cannot be digitized because we are not spiritual souls knocking around in a physical shell. I love my digital communities, but sometimes I need a hug.

• Having a wow experience: Was that a sermon or a sleep aid?
• Locality: If you church disappeared, would your neighborhood notice?
• Delivery: If by delivery, you mean we sit here and wait for you to show up, then sure.
• Personalization: What was your name again?
• Authenticity: Kids, behave. We’re in church.
• Rarity: A three point, alliterated sermon? What a delightful surprise!
• Immediacy: We’ll sing any hymn you want.
• Customization: Enjoy your pew.
• Interpretation: God said it, I believe it, that settles it.
• Simplicity: Going green? Great idea! Let’s run it past the subcommittee.
• Expertise: Well-trained to answer your questions about koine greek participles.
• Priority: Biblical wisdom whenever you want, as long as it’s Sunday at 9am.
• Prestige/Reputation: Every funeral, an opportunity advancement.
• Power/Control: If you value your life, do not anger the kitchen ladies.
• Patronage: You can’t change the light bulb; my grandmother donated that light bulb!

Yeah, yeah, it’s fun (and easy) to point out the problems of church life. But lets take this seriously for a second. Suppose for a second that the church actually wants to be a part of the digital age. (Come on, in an infinite number of universes there’s gotta be one, right?) What might that look like? Let’s brainstorm.

• Having a wow experience: Honestly, I’ve already had wow experiences in church. A spot-on sermon, a touching song, unexpected forgiveness, close friendships, peace in the storm.  Of course, any time a church actually follows the teachings of Jesus and feeds the hungry, visits the prisoner, comforts the sick, protects the alien the fatherless and the widow, that’s pretty much guaranteed to make people say wow.
• Locality: What if we expected church members to live close enough that they could walk to church? Then they’d have a vested interest in improving the neighborhood. What if the church got involved in local festivals, not to advertise, but to serve?
• Delivery: If the people are on the web, why isn’t the church? If the people are in the pub, why isn’t the church?
• Personalization: If your church gets big enough that it’s impossible for people to know each other by name, then don’t start a new service; plant a new church.
• Authenticity: What if church weren’t the place where we put on our best face? What if church were the one place we felt safe enough to take off the mask? Moments like that don’t happen in a pew. Maybe on a retreat, or in a small group meeting at someone’s home, but not in a pew.
• Rarity: How about silence? I can get preached at whenever I want. I can get music I like whenever I want. But how often can I find silence? When I speak, how often do I feel like anyone is actually listening? How often does someone spend time with me without wanting anything from me?
• Immediacy: You can’t get more immediate than live, so that’s something. But what about sharing that immediacy with people who can’t/won’t go to church? Streaming services with live chat rooms?
• Customization: How about a service that is planned like a choose your own adventure, where the people choose what happens next?
• Interpretation: What if we posted the sermon on Monday, invited rebuttals from different schools of thought to be posted Wednesday, opened the whole thing for comments, and gleaned the best of it all to share on Sunday morning?
• Simplicity: Honestly, I’m a bit stumped here because Christianity was never meant to make your life easier. Just the opposite in fact. It’s much easier to go with the flow. Following the way of the cross means running counter to the world, and suffering for it, intentionally. Maybe the simplicity comes from admitting it instead of trying to dress it up like a get rich quick scheme.
• Expertise: What if we outsourced the church? Outsource the money to an accountant, the building to a maintenance specialist, the endowment to a fund raiser, the advertising to an ad agency, the events to an event planner, the boards to an HR firm specializing in the care and feeding of volunteers, and let the pastor focus on prayer, scripture, and getting both as deeply embedded into the life of the church as possible.
• Priority: Another tough one. “The first shall be last, those who wish to lead should serve,” and all that. Maybe the idea here is helping people feel like they’re a priority, and not just someone to call when we need something. Maybe you email sneak previews of the sermon to a randomly chosen group each week and honor their feedback.
• Prestige/Reputation: We’ve got titles galore, but they no longer mean anything to the community outside the congregation. I’m not at all interested in returning to the “glory days” when you had to go to church or suffer social consequences. That’s not faith. That’s conformity under duress. How about we hold each other accountable, and stop making it as easy to join a church as it is to join the local racquetball club?
• Power/Control: We’ve got this one backward. We’ve got power and control locked down. Let’s spread them around a bit. How about arranging the service in such a way that questions are allowed, more than one opinion heard? How about a survey of the neighborhood asking them what’s the most annoying thing we do, and then stop doing it?
• Patronage: I’m honestly torn on this one. “The workman deserves his pay,” sure, but doesn’t it compromise the message a bit? On the other hand, patronage is a simple method for accountability. Maybe we endow the pulpit the way you endow the chair of a university? The pastor is still accountable to the congregation, but any growth doesn’t benefit him/her financially.

What do you think? Any in there worth exploring? Got any crazy ideas of your own to add?