Mar 14 2011
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Sermons

Lent: Let’s get miserable!

Creative Commons LicenseA Sermon for the First Sunday in Lent
First preached at First Congregational Church of Saugatuck on March 13, 2011.
Texts: Psalm 32 and Genesis 2:15-3:21
Lent has to be the worst marketing ploy in the history of the Christian Church. Just imagine it. The Pope calls an emergency meeting of his cardinals in his secret Pope room and says, “Guys, we got a problem. Attendance is down. Giving is down. We need a way to recharge the faithful. Now, who’s got an idea?”

“I have one! Let’s put a sign in every church that says, ‘Beatings will continue until morale improves.’”

“No, Spain already tried that. It didn’t work so well.”

“How about we fine people for not showing up at church. And if they can’t pay the fine, we’ll throw them in jail until they make enough money to pay up.”

“No. England did that already. Come on, something original.”

“I’ve got one! Let’s do Lent!”

“What’s a Lent?”

“It’s forty days of prayer and fasting in preparation for Easter. Extra church services, no meat, and we’ll tell everyone to give something up so they can focus on God. Count back from Easter 40 days. Don’t count Sundays. That means we’ll kick off on Wednesday with a ceremony of ashes, symbolizing repentance.”

“Sounds great. Let’s do it!”

You all know how it turned out, right? The preachers told their congregations to prepare for 40 days of prayer and fasting starting Ash Wednesday. So the people did the only reasonable thing. They crammed 40 days worth of partying into Tuesday. Great plan, guys. Way to honor Jesus with beer, babes, and beads.

And can somebody please explain the logic behind Fish Fries on Friday? “No meat? No problem. We’ll eat fish instead.” Whoever came up with that little loophole deserves to work for Goldman Sachs.

Try explaining Lent to your neighbors.  “Well, it works like this. Think of something you really love to do, something you do a lot. And you make a promise never to do that at all for forty days.  Sound like fun?”

And yet, we still do it. I sat in my office this week, thinking about what I should give up for Lent. And you know the first thing that sprang to my mind? Hot dogs. Every Wednesday night, I have hot dogs, and not just regular hot dogs. I get two steaming hot 1/3 lb. all-beef franks, piled high with Chicago-style fixings, on bed of crispy golden french fries. I love my wife’s cooking, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I look forward to Wednesday night.

So I’m thinking about Lent and the first thing that pops in my mind is hot dogs. You know what the second thing was?

“No way!”

I love hot dogs! I wrote this sermon on hot dogs! Forty days? You gotta be kidding me. And then I think, “What? Jesus died for me, and I can’t give up hot dogs?” So now I’m stuck either way. Either I lose my hot dogs, or I feel guilty for forty days! Who’s dumb idea was this?

As a marketing ploy, Lent makes New Coke look like a good idea. But as a discipline, it’s gold. We talked last week about what Charlie Sheen and Jesus Christ have in common. Namely, that they’re both human. The way we lift up celebrities is a twisted shadow of the way we put Jesus on a pedestal. We miss the fact that he had fears and doubts, just like us. He was fully human. He identified with us completely, so that we could identify with him. We are to be little Christ’s. As he was for us, we are to be for others. Which is fully true, but it’s not the whole story.

Many scholars believe that the word Christian was first used by our enemies as a way to mock us. “Oh look at them. They think they’re little Christs, mini messiahs running around saving the world.” In fact, that “ianos” ending that they stuck on the end of Christ, Christ-ianos can have another connotation, slave of Christ. As in, “Look at them. They don’t think for themselves. They’re just little slaves of Christ. ‘Yes, master. Whatever you say, master.’” And the Christians said, “Thank you. That’s perfect.”

There’s online web-comic that I really enjoy. It’s called The Order of the Stick. The main characters are little stick figures who know they’re in a Dungeons and Dragons roll-playing game. One of the characters is a very devout follower of Thor, whose is name is Durkon. In one of my very favorite scenes, Durkon gets in over his head. He’s incapacitated in a dungeon full of monsters that want to eat him for supper. So he looks down at his little necklace that says WWTD, and thinks to himself, “What would Thor do?”

And in his little thought bubble, Thor steps down from the sky and says, “With my ultimate power of the thunders, I, Thor, smash this entire dungeon to shattered ruins, each piece no larger than a man’s fist. Then, I return to Asgard to woo goddesses and drink an ocean’s worth of beer. Huzzah!” And Durkon says, “Somehow, that “W.W.T.D” thing is never really as applicable to my situation as it’s supposed to be.”

Try as we might, there are things Jesus did that we can’t do. Jesus healed the sick. He touched the outcast. He fed the hungry. He humbled the mighty, and died on the cross an innocent man. I can’t even give up hot dogs!

People complain about hypocrisy in the church, but that’s not the real reason people reject Christianity. Hypocrisy is everywhere. If you’re waiting for a perfect club to join, you’re going to be looking a long time. And when you find it, they’re not going to let you in. Hypocrisy is just the convenient excuse. Who’s in favor of hypocrisy?

No, the real reason is that we hate coming to the table as anything less than equals. Jesus is the great physician, the good shepherd. He’s here for the lost and the hurting. Grace implies a benefactor. Forgiveness implies a wrong. The graffiti on the wall says, “Jesus Saves.” And in our hearts we reply, “From what?”

That’s where our Psalmist is. He tries to keep silent, doesn’t want to ask forgiveness. But he says that in his silence it’s as if his bones are on fire. He’s sapped of strength, as if God were pressing him down. So he changes his mind, and the song becomes a prayer.

“You are my hiding place. You always fill my heart with songs of deliverance. Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in you. I will trust in you. Let the weak say, ‘I am strong in the strength of the Lord.’ I will trust in you.”

And God responds. He says, “I will instruct you and teach you. I will lead you with my eye.” How do you lead someone with your eye? The second half of the couplet explains, “Don’t be like a mule that needs a bit and bridle.” God does not use force to control us. We are children of the king, not beasts of burden. We are co-heirs with Christ, citizens of the Kingdom of God, and it’s high time we acted like it.

There’s a lot of argument over Genesis. Is it a literal 7 days, or is it metaphorical? Frankly, I don’t care, because for preaching purposes, it doesn’t matter which way you read it. The point of the story is the same. Adam and Eve don’t want to be disobedient. They want to be like God, knowing good and evil.

And what’s the immediate result? 1. They feel shame at their own bodies. 2. They hide from God. 3. Adam blames Eve. Eve blames the snake. 4. An animal has to die so they can have skins for clothes. The point of the story is that sin breaks our relationship with ourselves, with each other, with God, and with nature. Sin is a tangling vine that starts as a seed, grows into a prison, and ends in death. If you eat this fruit, you will surely die, not immediately die, but surely.

Lent may be horrible marketing, but it’s great discipline, because it all comes from here. As your pastor, I don’t get to choose what habit you give up, or what new one you start. What am I going to do, check up on you? It all happens here.

We give something up, or start something new, and in the process we learn something about ourselves, about how we treat other people, about our relationship with God, about the hold that mere things have over us, and the carelessness with which we treat the world we’ve been given. It’s a great discipline, because it only takes 40 days to realize we don’t have it all together. We really could use a good shepherd, or a great physician. It’s a great discipline, because the only way God can lead you with his eye is if you keep your eyes on God.

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Mar 07 2011
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Sermons

What do Charlie Sheen and Jesus Christ Have in Common?

Creative Commons LicenseA Sermon for Transfiguration Sunday
First preached at First Congregational Church of Saugatuck on March 6, 2011.
Texts: Matthew 17:1-9 and Exodus 24:12-18
Wordle: What do Charlie Sheen and Jesus Christ have in common?

Charlie Sheen. The man is a walking train wreck. In case you’ve somehow managed to miss this story, Mr. Sheen went on a few drug-induced benders recently, causing the hiatus of his sitcom. That would have been enough for media attention, but he’s gone on an unashamed, I’m a winner, you’re just jealous, viral media crazy-blitz.

Everyone makes mistakes, but most of us don’t go and crow about it on talk radio the next day, and then on Good Morning America, and then on the Today Show, and then on CNN, and then an interview with that most respected of all world news outlets, TMZ. And just when you think it’s over, he says something even crazier, like: “I’m an F-18, bro.” Or “These resentments, they are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber.” Yes, you heard that right. Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of Charlie Sheen’s saber. Train wreck, in slow motion, with instant replay.

So here’s the big question of the day. What do Charlie Sheen and Jesus Christ have in common? I’m no Letterman, so I could only come up with a Top Five. (Many thank to Jerry Donovan for his help!)

5.   Jesus creates miraculous amounts of alcohol; Charlie consumes miraculous amounts of alcohol.

4.   Both speak in metaphors difficult to translate into English.

3.   Jesus makes great wine. Charlie just whines.

2.   Neither sees anything wrong with hanging out with hookers.

1.   One of them is God’s gift to the world, the other thinks he is.

Kidding aside, I think Jesus and Charlie do have something in common. We have a problem, us 21st century Christians. We read this book, and we love it so much, and we respect the people in it so much that we have a hard time identifying with them. All great literature is about identifying with the character. You recognize yourself in Tom Sawyer or Atticus Finch. They’re complete fiction, yet you see something in them that you want to be. Great fiction is the lie that tells the truth.

So look at our text today, the transfiguration. Who are the characters in the scene? Jesus, Moses, Elijah, Peter, James and John. Six characters, and we identify with none of them. Jesus walked on water. Moses walked through the Red Sea. Elijah called down fire from the sky. What did you do last week? I got stuck in three inches of slush! I can’t compete with these guys.

It reminds me, in a small way, of how we deify celebrities. We put them up on a pedestal, as if they were role models. They’re not role models. They’re pretty people who are good pretending to be someone they’re not. Which is good, because that’s pretty much what we expect them to do 24/7.

No falls off a pedestal. We put them up there, and then we rip it out from under them. It feels good to have someone to look up to, someone to follow. It frees us from the responsibility of defining ourselves. As good as that feels, it feels so much better to look down on them afterward. It proves that you’re a better person. “I may be messed up, but I’m no Charlie Sheen.”

It’s never really about them; they’re just the backdrop for our story. They are the measuring stick we use to inspire or comfort ourselves. We forget… well that’s not really accurate, we willfully choose to ignore, that they’re human.

Back to our text. Why are Moses and Elijah in this story? The short answer is that Moses represents the Law and Elijah the prophets. Together, they symbolize the entire Old Testament. Remember, Jesus didn’t come to break the Old Testament. He loves his Hebrew Scriptures. He wants to fulfill the Hebrew Scriptures. Moses and Elijah need to be here to show the continuation of their work in his ministry. But I think there’s more to it than that. They’re here on this mountaintop for a reason. Both of these men have stood on the mountaintop.

Moses stood on Mount Sinai, and received the tablets of the law. The cloud descended on the mountaintop. God spoke from the cloud, and thunder rolled down toward the people. When Moses came down, his face glowed with reflected glory, and they were so terrified they made him cover his face.

Elijah stood on Mount Carmel. He faced down 450 prophets of Baal. God answered his prayer with a fire so hot that it burnt the wood, the offering, the water, the stones, and scorched the earth. When he came down off that mountain he ran ahead of the king’s chariot all the way to Jezreel.

They’ve been on the mountaintop, not just once, but twice. Moses stood on Mount Nebo, and looked down into the Holy Land. He looked down on the promised land of God, the land he had spent 40 years of his life seeking, and he knew he would never make it. He made a stupid, arrogant mistake, and this was the price. He could see the Holy Land, but never go in.

Elijah stood on Mount Horeb. Well, stood isn’t really the right word. He cowered. He hid… in a cave. The man who faced down 450 prophets ran and hid when Jezebel’s messenger delivered her death threat. When God asked him what he was doing, he complained. Then God revealed himself not in the wind, or the earthquake, or the fire, but the still small voice. And the voice said, “What are you doing, here?” And he complained again in exactly the same words. He learned nothing.

We’ve studied Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount over the last few weeks. Matthew intentionally parallels the story of Jesus with the story of Moses so that the Sermon on the Mount echoes the giving of the law on Mount Sinai. If that was the first mountaintop, the victorious mountaintop, then what is this?

We Christians are sometimes so careful to deify Jesus that we forget, or we willfully choose to ignore, that he was human. Perhaps Moses and Elijah were there because he needed them to be. He needed to see what was coming as part of a larger story, the story of faith, the story of deliverance not from all suffering, but through and out the other side. You see this confirmed on the Mount of Olives when Jesus cries, “If it is possible, let this cup pass from me.” You hear it confirmed on the hill of Golgotha, when Jesus cries, “My God, my God, Why have you forsaken me?” Jesus was fully human.

But he must have learned something from these two. Or perhaps they reminded him of something he already knew. Because he follows “Let this cup pass from me” with “Not my will, but yours be done.” And he follows “Why have you forsaken me” with “Into your hands I commend my spirit.”

If you ever wondered what was the right thing to do. If you ever knew the right thing to do and wondered if you had the strength to do it, then you have something in common with Jesus. If after all that, you went and did it anyway, if you made God’s will a reality in this place, forgetting the cost, for the sake of your brothers and sisters, then I’d say you share a family resemblance. You and Jesus have something in common.

These heroes of faith are not porcelain statues to be observed from afar. They are human beings just like us. The word Christian does not mean Christ follower. It means little Christ. As he is for us, we are to be for others, even for Charlie Sheen.

Benediction: You may have noticed I left someone out. Three someones, actually. What about Peter, James, and John? Why are they in the story? First, they teach us that Jesus is not one among many. You don’t build three equal houses and put Jesus in one. God says, “This is my son. Listen to him.” And second, try as we might, we can’t stay on the mountaintop. All we can do is hold onto what we learned there and take it with us into the valley of everyday life. May God meet you on the mountaintop and walk with you through the valley and out the other side. In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, one God forever, amen.

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Creative Commons License What do Charlie Sheen and Jesus Christ have in Common? is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. Link to revsmilez.com.

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Jan 11 2011
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Articles and Ponderings

Facebook “Security” Isn’t

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Dec 14 2010
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Articles and Ponderings

Facebook for Ministers: Why bother?

After my recent article on Facebook in The Congregationalist magazine, I received a great email from a fellow minister. He gave me permission to share it here, but asked me to withhold his name.

Well, for starters, I’m one of the “old folks,” who haven’t yet learned all this techno stuff. What is the advantage of facebook, over what we’re doing right now, exchanging information via e-mail? I see it as a lot more work than just writing an e-mail to the same person.

Thank you for any help you can give. May you, your family and Church, have a blessed Christmas. Please keep the mission trip to Bangaldesh in prayer.  The team will e-mail from Bangladesh, as time and electricity allow.

Here’s my response:

Let’s use the Bangladesh trip as an example. Assume you set up a public fan page for the trip. Instead of sending emails from the field to all the families, you post that same information on the Facebook page, and then email them a link to that page. If you know how, share photos or video too.

Now, the families are all in one spot, building connections, experiencing this together. If the people going on the trip are able, they can contribute content before, during, or after. (content they likely wouldn’t have shared otherwise, or if they did it would be scattered over various albums, journals, and computers.) If your posts, photos, or videos are interesting, there’s a good likelihood that people outside of that first circle of friends will see them too.

End result: your people feel more involved and supported, their families feel more connected and informed, and interested observers have a good reason, and a clear way, to help.

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Dec 14 2010
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Articles and Ponderings

Net Mending: Facebook Tips for Ministers

This article was first written for The Congregationalist magazine’s December 2010 issue. It is reprinted here with permission.

When I mention Facebook to fellow pastors, many of them echo Betty White’s recent Saturday Night Live monologue: “It sounds like a big waste of time to me.” Recent reports that third-party games hosted by the site collected and resold personal information only added heat to already simmering privacy concerns. Given all that, why bother? If Facebook were a country, it would be the third largest in the world. Half of its 500 million active members log in on any given day, making Facebook the 800-lb. gorilla in the social media room. But before we can talk about how it might be useful, we have to deal with these very real concerns.

ISSUE 1: Privacy

  • Tip 1: Make a clear distinction between personal use and church use. Profiles are personal, so only “friend” people you actually know in real life. Fan Pages are public. If you wouldn’t want it plastered on a billboard, don’t post it.
  • Tip 2: Don’t put your phone number or address on your Facebook profile. If people want to reach you, they can send a message to your Facebook account. Check out the profile privacy settings and change everything to “Friends only” or “Just me.”
  • Tip 3: Always get parents’ permission before posting pics of minors. Send the parents a link to the post as soon as it goes up.

ISSUE 2: Productivity

  • Tip 1: Decide ahead of time why you’re using this platform. If you’re a pastor trying to connect personally with your congregation, spending 15 minutes a day on your personal profile is a good thing. If you’re just trying to keep people informed, a post every few days to your church’s fan page should only take 10 minutes. Set a timer and honor your intent.
  • Tip 2: If your News Feed gets cluttered, click on the little X on the upper right of the offending article. You have to move your mouse over the news article to see the X. Then click “Hide John Posts-too-much Doe” or “Hide SillyQuiz-App-3,278”. Soon your feed will feature only news you care to read.
  • Tip 3: Rather than paging through posts from 400 people, use friend lists to make browsing faster. From your Facebook homepage, click “friends” on the upper left, then “Edit Friends” in the top center, and “Create a list.” I have one list for close friends and family, one for church members, another for friends from college, etc. Not only does this speed browsing, you can set privacy levels differently for each list.

Just like fishing nets of old, the Internet is only useful if you use it well. Only set up a personal profile if you’re actually going to take the time to respond to people through it. Only set up a Facebook fan page for your church if you have a tech-savvy person willing to be the administrator who will keep it up-to-date with info from your newsletter. Done well, a profile will help parishioners to see their pastor as a person. A fan page will help visitors get a feel for your church and help members stay connected. Best of all, it costs you nothing but time and attention

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Nov 19 2010
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Sermons

Faith is not an Excuse

Creative Commons LicenseText:  Isaiah 65:17-25,  2 Thessalonians 3:6-13
First Preached: First Congregational Church of Saugatuck

What’s the number one reason people reject church? That’s right! “The church is full of hypocrites.” That’s awesome! You know why? It makes our job sooo much simpler. We don’t have to educate them. We don’t need to explain the mysteries of trinity and incarnation. All we have to do is live it.  Sounds simple, right? But there’s one huge problem.

One of my online friends (from Allegiance, greatest free multiplayer game ever)  said something this week that highlights the problem perfectly. He says, “The stupidity, arrogance and callousness of people when it comes to the wonderful and fragile web of life here keeps amazing me. Why are so many blind to what a treasure we have? I also have absolutely no respect for anybody who thinks their religion tells them that this is a false and temporary world, and how we treat it doesn’t matter since the real rewards are in some afterlife. Even if you believe it was all created by God(s), shouldn’t that make it all sacred and holy?” He’s not worried about whether Jesus is the Son of God. He’s worried that we’ll use our faith as an excuse.

When I was in Bible College I had a friend who said without exaggeration. “I don’t recycle. This whole world is going to burn anyway. What’s the point?” Her faith in God was her excuse for leaving the world a dirtier place than she found it.

My sister is a total tree hugger, and when I told her what I was preaching on today, she said, “I know exactly what you mean. I have a friend who refuses to recycle. When I asked her why, she said, “The rapture is coming. We’re all going to get taken away, so why bother?”

It’s right there in our text today. “Behold, I will make a new heaven and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind” If that’s true then this world is disposable. We can do whatever we want. It doesn’t matter.

Talk back time. What character traits make a good employee? A good friend? A good politician? What character traits make a good person?

In classical times, these were called virtues. Plato listed the four chief virtues as: Temperance (what we would call self control) prudence (which means choosing the appropriate action for the context), courage, and justice. These virtues form the foundation of what we call a free society. A lack virtue destroys society.

This is what people mean when they say all religions teach basically the same thing. All religions are trying to create virtuous people. It’s not strictly true. If you look under the hood, how each religion defines virtue and how they say you get there are often very different. But in a broader sense, sure, all the great religions would essentially agree that not being a jerk is a good idea. Yet, when people think of Christians, do they think of virtue, or do they think of jerks?

If you only hear one thing today, hear this.  Virtue is a result.

You cannot argue someone into virtue because argument sways the mind. Suppose it works. Suppose you’re brilliant, persistent, and persuasive enough to get someone to agree with you. They’re still stuck with the same problem you are. Willpower is finite and your appetites are not. If you’re trying to will yourself into being a better person, you will lose.

Benjamin Franklin actually tried it. He made a list of virtues and dedicated himself to perfecting them. He would focus all his mind and will toward a single virtue and when he felt he had conquered it, he would move on to the next. You know what he found? He couldn’t hold onto them all. As soon as he got good at a new virtue, one of the old ones would start to slip. You cannot will yourself not to sin any more than an alcoholic can will himself not to drink. Short term, you might win. Long term, you will lose.

This is where we get to push back a little bit on those people who bash the church. The church is full of hypocrites, right?  You read the papers lately? For every one story about scandal or abuse in the church, I’ll show you five in the world of business or finance or politics.

The problem of virtue isn’t the church’s problem. It’s a human problem. Unfortunately, that doesn’t help us much. Can you imagine that in our next ad campaign? “FCC Saugatuck, no more corrupt than your average politician.” How’s that for a ringing endorsement? Makes you want to go to church, right?

How did the saints do it? They recognized that that virtue is not a goal. It is a result. God is light and life and love, and when they approached that truth, all their falsehood became glaringly obvious. This is the mark that all the saints have in common. They shared a radical humility and a passion for change. In the light of God’s perfection, they caught a vision of themselves and the world is at is, and then they moved. Relationship gave birth to vision. Vision gave birth to virtue.  Virtue is a result, which means we’re starting at the wrong end of the story.

The relationship doesn’t start with a new heaven and a new earth. That’s the end of the story. It starts “in the beginning”. God is light, life and love. Because that is God’s nature, God made creation to share that life, light, and love. But we chose death, darkness and hatred. Now God is doing a new thing. God is putting it right. That is the story of the Bible, and it leads to the choice of our lives.

Will we join him, watch him, or fight him? You’re here because you said yes. Which means settling for an average amount of virtue is not an option. You’re here because you want to more. So, how do we do that?

First, remember the story. Read everything in that context. The Bible says God will forgive me, so I can do what I want, right? The Bible says there will be a new heaven and a new earth, so I don’t need to take care of this one right? The Bible says Jesus is the way, so all non-Christians are fair game, right?

Wrong! John 3:16: for God so loved the world. Not you, only. Not this church, only. The world. And you wrecking it is in direct conflict with the Lord of love you claim to serve.

God is saving the world, and the Bible says God forgives, so I’d better forgive. God is saving the world, and the Bible says God’s making a new heaven and a new earth, so I better grab a shovel. God is saving the world, and the Bible says Jesus is the way, so I’d better make a friend. Read everything the context of the story, and then decide. Am I going to fight against this, am I going to watch it happen, or am I going to help?

Two. Get active, and stay active in a local church. My dad got the boys a stone polishing machine. Have you seen these? You put in a rough, ugly rock with some sand, and you turn it and turn it and turn it. And very slowly, the sand scrubs the rough edges off and the inner beauty of the stone shines through. If you took one rock and threw it in alone, it would bang around while and come out roughly the same. If threw five rocks in together, they’d knock each other to powder. But the sand is persistent and gentler.

Brother and sisters, that’s church. You cannot will yourself into virtue. You need help.  This is a testing ground because at least here you know people are trying to be decent. Virtue is hard, so this is where we come to learn and to plan. When we want to slack, these people will get us back on track. That’s what our second reading is about today. Let no one be idle. Do not grow weary in doing what is right. But when someone does, hold them accountable with the tools of relationship, not force or political power. Relationship. Our weapons are not of this world.

Three. You have one and only one goal: to draw close to God. The nearer we get to God, the more clearly we see our own brokenness and the brokenness of the world. Were we on our own, that revelation might lead us to despair, isolation, and pessimism. But we are not alone, and the size of our problems is dwarfed by the size of our God. So, when those around us are ready to quit, we’re just getting started. Where they see impossibility we see opportunity. Where they hear rattle of chains, we hear the winds of change, because God is saving the world. We can fight it, or we can watch it, or we can help.

Creative Commons License

“Faith is not an Excuse” by Rev. Robert J. Brink is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

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Oct 19 2010
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Just for fun

Jokes from Sunday’s Sermon

Here are a couple you might want to use in a talk about humility and pride.

A minister was walking down the street when he saw a circle of boys, shouting cheering. In the center of the circle, he saw a dog. Fearing for the dog’s safety, the minister poked his nose into the circle. “What’s going on here?” he demanded. The oldest said, “It’s just a stray. We all want him, so we’re having a contest to decide who gets him. Whoever tells the biggest lie wins.”

The minister was furious. “You should not be telling lies. Don’t you know it’s a sin to lie? When I was your age, I never told a lie!”

The boys all hung their heads in silence. The youngest gave a deep sigh and said, “Fine, give him the dog.”

Jesus used humor a lot. It deflates pride. It sneaks past our defenses. It helps us to see what we’ve become so used to that it doesn’t bother us any more. Here’s another one along the same lines.

A pastor is trapped in a lifeboat on stormy seas. Terrified, he cries out to God, “I know you’re there, God. I know you’re real. I’ve preached for you and prayed for you my entire life and I’ve never asked you for anything. Now, in my hour of need, come rescue me.

Just as he says amen, a light shoots down from the sky, and he says, “The fiery chariot of Elijah!” But it’s just a Coast Guard chopper, so he waves them off. “God will rescue me, go rescue someone else who needs it more.”  Then he sees a shape rising from the deep and he shouts, “Jonah’s whale has come to swallow me and spit me on dry land!” But it’s only a Navy submarine, so he waves them off. “God will save me! Rescue someone else!” Then he looks through a cresting wave and in a flash of lightning he sees the shape of a man and his heart leaps for joy. “It’s Jesus! He’s walking across the water to me.” But it’s just a Special Forces marine in a wet suit.

The marine wasn’t about to take no for an answer, but just then a wave swept the preacher off the lifeboat and into the deep. He woke, coughing, at the pearly gates. And there was God in all his resplendent glory, and the preacher got angry. “Why didn’t you save me?! I prayed and prayed, but you never came.” And God said, “I sent he Coast Guard, the Navy, and the Marines. What more do you want?”

Keep smiling. Remember, this whole world could have been tofu.

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Sep 20 2010
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Sermons

Free Sermon: Bashing Politicians

Creative Commons LicenseText:  1 Timothy 2:1-8, Jeremiah 8:18-22
First Preached: First Congregational Church of Saugatuck

This sermon is dedicated to our new national pastime. No, I don’t mean baseball. I don’t even mean football. I mean bashing politicians. It’s taking the nation by storm. During my research, I spent some time with the source of all truth and knowledge, the internet.

According to sites I read this week, President Obama is a Muslim socialist, fascist, communist Kenyan double agent. According to them, his ultimate goal is nothing less than the complete destruction of America and the imposition of Sharia law on the shattered remnants of the population. And lest the Democrats get too proud of themselves, I also read articles during the election that President Bush had teamed up with Osama Bin Laden to stage 9/11 in order to have a pretext for war and martial law in America. According to them, George W. Bush was planning to be the head of a new American military dictatorship. The election would never be allowed to stand.

It seems to me that this political back-biting is reaching a new low. The Illinois State Register, from our president’s home state, labeled this politician “the craftiest and most dishonest that ever disgraced an office in America.” They accused him of changing the rationale for ’his’ war, then hounded him for mismanaging it. They charged his administration with incompetence and accused him of trampling on the Constitution. They even compared him to an ape. Of course, the president in question is Abraham Lincoln.

This is not a new game. As long as we have had politicians, we have slammed them, especially the ones who aren’t from our team. Paul was writing to Christians who lived under the boot of the Roman Empire. Every good Roman prayed to the Emperor, with only one exception. The Jews had bought the privilege, bought it with blood, the exclusive privilege of praying for the Emperor instead of to him. Now these Christians come along and say they’re not Jews. Shouldn’t they have to pray to the emperor too?

Paul is trying to head off a political firestorm when he tells Timothy, “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for everyone, for kings and all who are in high positions,” No one wants to live in occupied territory, but Paul says, “Don’t start a revolution. Start praying.” Why? “So that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and dignity.” According to Paul, government is not the instrument of the world’s salvation, that’s God’s job. Government exists to keep chaos at bay.

If that’s true, then a lot of what we call government is really politicians overstepping their bounds because the church has not yet become the kingdom of God. If we were caring for the widows, the fatherless, and the strangers in our midst… If there really were no needy among us, then who would need social security? If we really were peacemakers, who would need an army?

But we’re not there yet, so our leaders do their best to hold the chaos at bay. If that’s true, then government can fail through two fundamental errors: a weak defense and internal corruption. This is where our political leaders most need our prayers. It is soooo much easier to attack than to defend. It’s tactically simpler and psychologically easier to attack. It is sooo much easier to accept corruption than to fight against it. It’s so hard to stay clean when so many people are trying to turn you into a very rich pawn. Our leaders need our prayers, even when our hearts are breaking, even when we’re terrified and it looks like the end of our country.

Remember Jeremiah? “O that my head were a spring of water, and my eyes a fountain of tears, so that I might weep day and night for the slain of my poor people!” Jeremiah’s country is being dismantled around him. His people are walking into exile. He can see it coming and he tries to warn them but no one will listen, so he prays. He prays to God and he prays for his leaders.

He’s not the only one who’s afraid. You know what Al Qaeda and the KKK have in common? Fear. They feel like their world is under attack an they feel powerless to stop it. And they’re right. The way of life they long for is gone, and it will never return. So they lash out with the only tool they have, fear.

Perfect love drives out fear. It’s surprisingly hard to pray for someone and then in the next breath demonize them. It is surpisingly hard to pray for someone and then give up all hope. Praying for people in positions of power protects our hearts from the poisons of cynicism and despair. If that’s all it did, it would be worth it, but there’s more.

Praying for people in positions of power pushes you to action. People like to tease the church, that we don’t actually do anything. We just sit in our buildings and pray. “Let’s fight. You pray, I’ll punch, and we’ll see who wins.” But every great awakening, every great reform movement has begun in prayer. It’s surprisingly hard to pray for someone day after day after day and then do nothing. It’s surprisingly hard to pray for someone day after day and imagine they are somehow better than you.

Athens, Alabama KKK (Ku Klux Klan) Rally and Counter-Protests September 2007

Athens, Alabama KKK (Ku Klux Klan) Rally and Counter-Protests September 2007. Original work by Gregory Skibinski on a Creative Commons License

Look at the picture on front of your bulletin. This is what prayerful action looks like. These people are standing across the street from a KKK rally. Imagine standing on that street, and one one side there are angry people, someone yelling into a microphone. On the other side of the street, you see no fear, no rage, no violence, and no hoping it will all just go away. You’re standing there in the middle of the street, and you already know who has won.

Right now, the big fear in Saugatuck seems to be Aubry McLendon. Some people are afraid he’s going to destroy the dunes forever, or lock them away so no one can enjoy them any more. Some fear that he’ll bully his way though and his fancy new development will suck life away from our little downtown.

A casual reading of our text today might lead you to believe we should pray for him. Not true. The only reason we think that is because our culture confuses money with power. Of course we should pray for him, but for other reasons. Remember, the purpose of government? “So that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and dignity.” Their job is to protect the boundaries and enforce the laws, to hold off chaos. In our town, who is doing that? Is it McLendon? No way! He’s pushing the boundaries.

Our job is to pray for our council and our city officers. Imagine you’re an elected official in the middle of a series of lawsuits with Aubry Mclendon. On the one hand you have threatening lawyers, on the other you have screaming environmentalists, and in the middle you have hundreds of people yelling at you that you’re wasting their money. It feels like you’re walking through a minefield. Then out of the blue, someone walks up to you and says, “I prayed for you today, that you would keep us safe and be free of corruption.” Wow, that was weird.

Then someone else comes up and says, “I prayed for you today, that you would help our people to live quiet lives of godliness and dignity.” Now you’re feeling strange. Later on, a third person walks up and says, “I’ve been praying for you and praying for you because you’re in a position of authority. In fact, I read the council minutes whenever I can so I’ll know better how to pray, and last week you said you needed help with something that I know how to do. Would you let me help? I don’t want any compensation or recognition. I just want to help.

How would that make you feel? Would a day like that make you re-evaluate your opinion of the church? Would a day like that make you a better politician? Let’s find out.

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Sep 14 2010
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Articles and Ponderings

Bidness and the Church

Guest Post by Barry Lucas, Pastor of First Congregational Church of Allegan.

Recently, Netflix posted its second-quarter earnings, showing that it continues to do well. You might know that this company began by sending movies to their customers in the mail, but according to tech-business analysts, their growing success is because Netflix recognizes that the future is in “Streaming”: sending movies directly over the internet to a customer’s computer or TV. In response to this, a prominent Christian leader used Twitter to remark, “Meanwhile, the Church has very little Web content.”

A Christian magazine to which I subscribe, (actually- and ironically- a “digizine”, since everything comes over the internet!) was prompted to wonder, “Is this because Pastors and church leadership don’t realize the potential of the internet, or are they uncertain about how to harness its power?” They concluded it was the latter, and had several suggestions for improving effective use of the Web to promote a church.

I had an immediate emotional response to this news, and honestly, it came mostly from my own rather cold relationship with modern technology. I am not very comfortable with computers; my familiarity with what they can do is limited to eMail and using it as a glorified typewriter. I also have very little patience to sit in front of it and “surf the web”.

Furthermore, I am increasingly mystified and occasionally irritated, that so much “social networking” is going on, when in fact there is less and less time spent between people in actual face-to-face conversations. There is a small rebellion against this trend going on among some businesses in the Holland and Zeeland area. There are groups of business representatives who get together once a month to eat lunch and (gasp!) talk, exchange business cards, and refer customers. How 19th-century can you get?

Despite my personal disaffection- or lack of interest, really- in modern technology, I recognize that many other people use the internet for their news, shopping, research and generally keeping up with others in their lives. I think it is because so many do, and increasingly more do every year, that churches and Christian groups think it is imperative that we get on board, and “take advantage of every opportunity”, as Ephesians 5:16 tells us. Of course there should be good Christian content available on the internet, but I believe that Christians should remember, and the content should stress, that an online experience is only a part- and a small one- of what an actual (as opposed to virtual) church experience should be.

That said, part of my negative reaction to the Netflix news was founded in more than just my personal flat-earth mindset. It also had to do with the mistakes that churches have made in the past when they have unquestioningly thought that “what works for business must work for us”. A church is not a business, and the Church is not a business. Businesses have very different outcomes in mind, and therefore their means may not be compatible with what churches should be doing.

Let’s go back to Netflix for an example: Netflix wants to maximize its profits by making it as easy as possible for someone to get their product without inconveniencing themselves in the least. Their success in pursuing this aim has pretty much dismantled the video store model. Why hassle with the rental place when you can have it brought to your mailbox? No bothersome human interactions there, unless you happen to bump into the mailman. What is the only thing that kept the video store on life support? Our impatience: if I have to wait 24 hours or more to get the movie I want, I may just run over to the rental place. Netflix then brought out direct-to-computer movies, which meant that a customer could get whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted it. This was the final nail in the coffin for the brick-and-mortar store, and Movie Gallery, the last big national chain, is the latest casualty.

Now, that’s business- it’s competitive, it’s dog-eat-dog, and while we may think it is sad to see a business like Blockbuster go under, it is the same thing that happened to stables and livery companies with the wide adoption of the automobile.

So, a key difference between business and the church is that they ultimately want different things: businesses want our money, and they will try to offer us a product or service priced, packaged and delivered in such a way that we will part with our money. That means, as Netflix recognized, that it can play to our laziness, our impatience, our selfishness and our personal convenience and that dovetails neatly with their making money.

Is any part of that philosophy consistent with the Church? Isn’t what God is asking people to do less convenient, less selfish, less lazy and less insulated than they would otherwise tend to be?

I saw a cartoon once depicting the “Lite Church”. Its sign in front advertised things like, “Home of the 7% tithe”, “Only 8 of 10 Commandments- your choice”, etc. It reflected the temptation every church faces to play the same game other businesses and services do, all in the name of attracting people and filling pews.

We should offer compelling reasons to get out of the house and be together, worship together, and work together, but those compelling reasons should not be targeted at our selfish inclinations.

Churches should try, within reason, to make it as easy as possible for people to access what they offer- handicap accessibility, parking, a safe nursery, listening assistance, etc. are areas where we have realized in recent years we have to pay more attention. Churches should try to avoid being dull, boring and routine, but they cannot make entertainment their priority. They should try to have engaging programs and curricula for the children, but they should never become Chuck E. Cheese. They should try to be “seeker friendly”, but they must not neglect the responsibility to make disciples. Neither should those who attend church expect that a church’s aims and methods are the same as those places that just want their money. If we are too quick to jump on every business, culture, or technological trend that comes along, we will sometimes be utilizing models and techniques that actually work against our very reason for being!

Netflix might honestly make the attractive promise that their customers can fully enjoy the benefits of their services with a minimum of messy human interaction. The Church must honestly promise that the full benefits of discipleship can only be realized with human interaction- joyful, supportive, inconvenient and sometimes messy. The Christian must ask him or herself, “Am I a customer, or a disciple? Are my expectations of the church those of a consumer, or a servant?”

It is in God’s plan and wisdom that we become more like Jesus in the company of others becoming more like Jesus. There’s no money in that- but there is eternal profit.

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Sep 13 2010
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Sermons

You Know What This Church Needs? More Drunks!

Creative Commons LicenseText:  1 Timothy 1:12-17, Luke 15:1-10
First Preached: First Congregational Church of Saugatuck

Welcome to Saugatuck, the coolest small town in America.  Sure, we came in 4th if you’re just counting votes, but we were competing against towns 6 to 8 times our own size. That means on a per capita basis, we win. Each one of you, just by sitting here today is now orders of magnitude cooler than everyone else. You are awesome.

“Coolest small town in America” is a great slogan, perfect for this world. It provides social proof. “It must be cool. Look how many votes it got. I have to go. It’s the coolest per capita town in America. I’ll be cooler just by being there.”

God’s priorities are different. When we look at Jesus, we see God as God truly is. So who does Jesus hang out with? Traitors, drunks, and hookers. You know what this church needs? More drunks. This is Saugatuck, right? Jesus was a rabble rouser. He hung out with a rough crowd, and his disciples weren’t nearly pious enough to please the religious.

Look at Paul. Perfect example. That guy burning Korans down in Florida has nothing on Paul. Paul doesn’t burn your holy book. He tracks you down, kicks in your door and drags you off to jail. A mob decides to kill a Christian by chucking rocks at him till he dies. Paul is right there holding their coats, looking on with approval. In the end, God gets a hold of him, and you know what Paul has to say about it? He sums it all up in one sentence. “Christ came to save sinners, of whom I am the chief.”

I think we should start a new tradition. Members of the church need to get this verse tattooed across their forehead. “Christ came to save sinners, of whom I am the chief.”

The only problem with the idea is that as soon as it caught on someone would have to go get their tattoo done in a special font, or backwards so they could read it in a mirror. Someone else sees that and decides theirs needs to be in bold with two colors, until finally someone shaves their entire head and has the verse written all over the place in 12 different languages. “I’m the chief sinner. No, I’m the chief! No, I’m the chief.”  Isn’t it amazing how quickly we can turn humility into a contest?

The primary word here isn’t chief. It’s sinner. “Hold on there preacher man, I didn’t come here to get yelled at. Sinner is an ugly word. Can’t you say something positive?  Sure I can. I’m absolutely positive that I am a sinner. I’m pretty sure you are too.

The proper response to “Christ came to save sinners” isn’t awwww. It’s Wooo hoooo! The world says pride is the key to the good life and that humility equals humiliation. Jesus says just the opposite.

Jesus talks about leaving the 99 good sheep and searching for the lost one. He talks about a tearing your house apart to find one lost coin. And when the work is done and the lost is found, what do we do? Throw a party! Is this a story about humiliation? It’s about recognizing hidden value and doing whatever it takes to get it back.

Self-hatred is a trick. Thinking too little of yourself is just as dangerous as thinking too highly because in both cases all you’re thinking about is yourself. True humility focuses on God. The word sinner means nothing more or less than separation from God. As far as our lives are separated from God, so far are we sinners. And whatever that distance may be, that is exactly the distance God is crossing to touch your heart today.

Remember Paul, standing there holding coats while the crowds threw rocks at Stephen’s head? If he was half the hard case he thought he was, why wasn’t he chucking rocks himself? When he finally meets Jesus on the Damascus road, he hears a voice that says, “It’s hard for you to kick against the goads.” That’s why he was holding coats. Because God was there knocking on the door of his heart, pricking his conscience, goading him away from consequences he would have to live with for the rest of his life. God was already there, even on his darkest day.

Lovely, lovely sinner, God is searching for you . You are precious to him. Do you imagine that applies only to the sinners who showed up for church today? Angels rejoice over you today because you at least have turned around. You’ve found friends for the journey and food for the road.

What about all of them out there, those of low reputation, the ones who are trapped in consequences of choices they wish they could undo, the ones on the edge of despair? They’ve been burned so many times, they can’t imagine anyone could love them. They can’t trust any more. You think God loves them less? If you’re the 99, then the good shepherd is out there somewhere right now, searching for the one.

That sounds great in a sermon, but why would a drunk want to come to church? Should we start using real wine in communion? How about rock and roll hymns. That’s what they play in the bars, right? How can we make church more appealing so they’ll want to come?

That’s the wrong question.

Jesus didn’t sit in the temple and wait for sinners to decide that church is cool. The widow didn’t wait for her money to show up. The good shepherd didn’t wait for the sheep to wander home again. What do they do? They go. They search. You think my weekly schedule is an accident? I’m trying to set you and example as I try to follow one.

Jesus went to them and he offered them what they couldn’t find: acceptance, forgiveness, hope, purpose, healing, and love. Religious people go through this life afraid the world might infect them with sin, Jesus walked right into the middle of it and infected it with love.

I expect you to go out there this week and raise a ruckus. I’d like nothing more than to hear some pious religious person say, “First Congregational Church? I’d never go there. That’s where all the drunks hang out.”

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