Do One Thing

Christians are called to be simple people. Not simple-minded. Not simplistic. Focused. Self-aware. This has been huge lesson for me, this Lent. Some of you already know I added a new habit. Instead of lunch, I spent time in the chapel, studying and praying. And you know what I discovered? The world didn’t end when I stopped paying attention.

The work was still there, and I knew in my head that I now had less time to do it, but in my heart I never felt that. I felt calmer, and clearer. It’s not that this world’s infinite distractions became less infinite, or less distracting. I just became more certain that one thing I was doing was more important than the thousand things I wasn’t. I wasn’t fighting distractions. I was ending them, with prejudice.

This is your homework. Do one thing. If you’re fighting with yourself, you’ve already lost. Do one thing. This is ridiculously difficult. It doesn’t make any sense at all that it should be this hard, but it is.

It seems sometimes like the entire world is conspiring against you! And the worst offenders are smart phones.  Beep. You need to be somewhere. Beep. You need to read this. Beep. Your friend Billy from high school just bought milk. Beep. Take this survey. Beep. Did you know shirts are on sale? Beep. Beep. Beep.

Think of your life like a watercolor painting. With watercolor, there is one color that you cannot paint. White. Once you cover it up, you can never get it back. But if the whole picture is white, you don’t really have a picture, do you?

The point is not to cut out everything. The point is not to focus on the cutting at all. Do one thing. Once you see that thing in your head. You’ll know where they white space has to be, and protecting it will be a matter of art and practice, instead of a matter of will or luck.

Jesus lived 30 years before he started to preach. He preached 3 years before he tipped off the final confrontation. He walked through his last week, knowing what was coming. He didn’t run to meet it, he didn’t hide from it, and he didn’t let anyone or anything get it in his way. He understood his purpose, and he lived it. Live a life of purpose, and like him, you will change the world.

Sermon on John 3:16: Grateful for the Gift

Texts: John 3:14-21,  Ephesians 2:1-10

Did you know that we are feared? Not this church in particular, I mean the Church with a capital C. Christianity. You can hear it around town, or on Youtube. It’s not a new thing. You can read it in Mark Twain, or H.L. Mencken. We talked about Mencken before, remember? He’s the one who defined Puritanism as “the haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.”

He also wrote this: “I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind — that its modest and greatly overestimated services on the ethical side have been more than overcome by the damage it has done to clear and honest thinking.”

It’s a double-sided fear, first that we might become zealots and crusaders, intent on controlling everyone, and second that we might simply waste our lives. Suppose you think all this is simple farce, imagine the wasted potential gathered just in this room. We have artists and writers, workers and business owners. This one room has enough intelligence and clout to make our little corner of the world a better place. Instead, we’re sitting around waiting for a non-existent God to come fix our problems. Do you feel the loss in that? Now multiply that by the third of the planet that self-identify as Christian, and you are talking about the single most devastating destruction of human potential in recorded history.

All that’s horrible enough, but we keep handing them more and more reasons to believe it! We worship a cosmic kill-joy and run around like mini-killjoys, as if the biggest concern in our lives is whether or not someone else believes the same thing we do.

Do you remember the John 3:16 guy? For years, at football games there was this guy who always bought a seat right in the center, between uprights at NFL games. And every time someone tried for a field goal or extra point, the camera shifts to catch the kick, and up pops a sign: John 3:16.

His name was Rollen Stewart, and his plan was simple. Football fans would see the sign, over and over, and eventually get curious. That would open the door for the good news. Because John 3:16 is the gospel in a nutshell.  “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

It’s nicer than some of the things Christians have tried in the past. But put yourself on the other side. It’s Sunday afternoon. Long week at work. All you want to do is sit down and watch the game, and right at the crucial moment when the game transcends itself and becomes a story about who we are and who we can be, some guy pops up with a sign. Again and again with the stupid sign, until you finally go look it up, and it says if you believe in Jesus you live forever, but if you don’t you go to hell. Enjoy your game!

Rollen Stewart didn’t even like football! He said, “I despised sports.” The only reason he did it was because people turned sports into a god. They loved sports more than God, so he had to wake them up. That was two decades ago. Guess where he is now.

Turns out, holding your football game hostage was not enough. People still weren’t listening, so he had to turn up the volume. He took actual hostages. Convinced that the end of the world was imminent, and that a whole lot of people were going to burn if he didn’t wake them up, he made plan to make the news.

He picked up two day-laborers and took them to a hotel. When he walked into the room, he surprised a housekeeper, got flustered, and pulled a gun. The day laborers hit the door and the housekeeper locked herself in the bathroom. When the police arrived, he demanded a three-hour, televised news conference so that he could warn the world. (source) God is coming! And he’s angry. John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he sent his Son, and whoever doesn’t believe in Him will one day soon experience eternal, conscious, torment. Hear the good news.

They didn’t give him a press conference. They gave him a concussion grenade, followed by a SWAT team take-down, arrest, and conviction for three counts of kidnapping. They are scared of us. And we’ve given them cause. We should all be grateful that Rollen Stewart is in prison. Not just because it makes us all safer, but because it gives us one more chance to say as loudly and clearly as we can, “That is not what this book means.” Everyone’s so sure they understand it, that we’ve all stopped reading it. John 3:16, the verse everyone knows. But what does it actually say?

For God so loved the world. Not Christians, not Americans, not the infinitesimally small fraction of humanity that happens to agree with me on the finer points of both religion and politics. The world. The Greek word here is “kosmon” as in cosmos, as in all of created space and time, as in all the systems of this world that ignore and oppose God’s plan. What plan?

For God loved the world in this way. He sent his only-begotten Son. And what did that Son do? He died. This is the Christian revelation of God. God’s judgment is love. God’s choice is love. God’s plan is love.

Well, that’s great preacher-man, but you only read half the sentence. For God so loved the world, he sent his only Son, that whosoever believes will not perish. If that’s true, then the opposite must be true. Those who don’t believe will perish. For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Or as our reading says today, “you were dead in your transgressions and sins… Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.”  All right, calm down.

I’ve forgotten where I first heard this story. My apologies to the author for the parts I’m sure I’ll get wrong.  In my recollection, it was a true story. Once upon a time two friends were walking through Rome. One was a Catholic priest, and the other an Eastern Orthodox monk. The priest was showing his friend the old frescoes and murals painted by the greatest religious artists of the West. And each time, the monk would answer with the Eastern spin on that particular scene. Until at last, they approached Michelangelo’s Last Judgment.

You’ve probably seen it. In the center, standing on a cloud, surrounded by radiance, by saints and angels, a muscular, bare-chested Jesus stands with hand upraised. Around and above him, the colors are bright, and the people are beautiful. But if you follow the line of his hand and the line of his eye, the colors get darker and images more disturbing, until you get to the bottom where gleeful dark demons drag terrified souls to hell.

And the Orthodox monk says, “This is yours. We know nothing of this.”  You see, the split between East and West wasn’t just a political split. It was a theological split. It was a cultural split. In an effort to explain the mystery of the cross to Roman minds obsessed with law, western theologians pictured the universe as a law court, with God as the judge. “It’s like this,” they said, “You’re guilty of breaking God’s law, but Jesus took the punishment for you, so now you can go free.”

This legal understanding is not wrong. There’s scripture to support it. It’s just not the only scripture. We’re talking about a religious mystery. We’re attempting to explain things too big for our heads. The Eastern Church chose a different metaphor, also grounded in scripture. It sounds a bit more like the story I told the kids today. God is light. When you step away from the light, you enter darkness. God is life. When you cut yourself off from the source of all life, the result is predictable. You see how those two stories would result in very different art?

For God so loved the world, he gave his only son, that whoever believes should not perish. The Greek word is here is ah-POL-ay-tie to perish, to die, to be destroyed. Not to be punished, not to be tortured, not to be found guilty in a court of law. Different words. It does not say, “believe or God will punish you.” It says, “Your unbelief is killing you.” You are a flower cutting off your own roots, and turning your face from the sun. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save it.

“Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already” Huh? I thought judgment happened at the end of time, when God takes the ones he likes and puts them up here and the ones he doesn’t like and puts them down here. Not according to this text. God’s judgment is already complete, and the verdict is love.

It’s our judgment that happens every day. Every single day, every moment of every day, we decide whether we’re going to believe that love, and trust it enough to bet our lives. Will we follow his footsteps, choosing to love, even though it costs us? Will we follow him, even to the cross, in hopes that like him, we too will rise? Or will continue to play the game, protect our own, even if it means people have to be hurt?

When they interviewed Rollen Stewart and asked him how he could justify taking people hostage, he said, “It was a crime to prevent a greater harm… If somebody’s standing in the way of me going into a burning building, I’m going to knock them on their butt.” This is not a polite conversation about hypothetical religious concepts. This is a continuation of the “faith as deal” argument that had Jesus turning over tables in the temple.

“If I believe, God will let me into heaven.” That’s not what it says. Faith is not a coin you drop into a God-sized vending machine and out pops salvation. “Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.” The revelation of God, which is the cross, is a litmus test, a phrase that means the exact opposite of how we usually use it.

Usually we say litmus test, as in anyone who does not fit this standard need not apply. How many here have actually done a litmus test, with actual litmus paper? Real litmus paper has been treated with specific dyes that turn color based on pH, red for an acid, blue for a base. The test doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t decide ahead of time what the answer should be. It reveals what was already there.

Our choices matter. Every day, they matter. Eternally, they matter. Not because that’s how we earn God’s love, but because they reveal who we are. That’s not faith. That’s reality. Faith means seeing that reality and choosing to believe based on Jesus that God loves us anyway, choosing to believe that loving the world anyway is worth the cost. Faith is seeing the light and stepping into it anyway. Our life choices make that easier or harder to do, but they don’t change the light. God’s love for us is not dependent on us; it depends on him.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.”

Over the last few week’s we’ve examined the marks of a Christian. We are people of the cross. We are people of passion. Today, we add a third mark. We are people of gratitude. If God’s judgment is love, a gracious gift, given for no other reason than who God is, then every waking moment is an opportunity for gratitude.

So here’s your challenge for the week. Don’t judge people by what they say they believe. Instead, listen for echoes of the cross, watch for moments of passion, pay attention to all expressions of gratitude. You may discover we have brothers and sisters where you least expect it. In December 1921, H.L. Mencken, that atheist critic of Christianity, wrote the following and signed it Epitaph. “If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner… and wink your eye at some homely girl.” If our non-Christian friends fear us, it is not usually because they hate Jesus. It’s usually because we don’t resemble him.

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First preached at First Congregational Church of Saugatuck on March 18, 2012.

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Grateful for the Gift  is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. Link to revsmilez.com.

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What’s Lent?

Q: What’s Lent?
A: It’s the church’s 40 day preparation for Easter.

Q: Why call it Lent?
A: It’s from the Old English lencten, meaning ”springtime”, which comes from earlier words meaning “longer days”.  Not a bad description for spring, eh?

Q: What does that have to do with Mardi Gras?
A: Many cultures celebrated spring festivals long before Christianity arrived. When churches became powerful, they could socially enforce 40 days of penitence. This took many forms, but often included giving up meat, fat, and sugar. Mardi Gras, or Fat Tuesday, was the last chance to party and to use up all that tempting food.

Q: What about fish fries on fridays?
A: If a church tried to enforce a 40-day diet of bread and water nowadays, that church would be done! Fish is a compromise. You’re still promoting some weak form of self-discipline, but in such a low cost way that people will actually do it.

Q: Doesn’t that defeat the point?
A: Yup. Mardi Gras and fish fry fridays prove the pointlessness of cultural Christianity.

Q: Then what should we do?
A: If you really want to prepare for Easter, don’t temporarily stop doing something you like. Make a real change. Build a habit worthy of God’s Kingdom, or remove one unworthy of it. We are what we repeatedly do.

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Ask a Pastor: Tough Love for Adult Children

Dear Pastor,

My adult child keeps making poor choices and asking me to bail her out at the last minute. I want to help her, but it throws my life in disarray and it means she never learns from her consequences. I’ve decided to put my foot down. I feel good about that, but guilty too. How do I tell her I’m not rescuing her this time?

Sincerely,

Not-so-super-mom

Dear SuperMom,

You are a SuperMom because you’re putting what’s best for your child above what’s easy or what feels good. Ask yourself this: “What would have to be true for me to feel great about saying yes?”  For example, what if instead of calling at the last minute, she gave you at least a week’s warning?  Suppose that would make a big difference for you. Explain it to her like this, “I want to help you, but I have a job and a family and a life of my own. I love you so much that I’m willing to rearrange all of that, but I need at least a week to make it happen. As long as you call me the day before you need help, the answer will always be no.”  She probably won’t like it, especially if the first time she hears it she’s already behind the 8-ball. But she’ll like it better than, ”I’m not helping you. You need to experience these consequences or you’ll never learn.” You want to help her, so tell her exactly what she needs to do to make that possible.

Happy Boundary-setting,

-RevSmilez

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The Lord’s Prayer

Just did a guest post on the Lord’s Prayer (also called “the Our Father”) over a Faithful Friends of God . It’s short and sweet, but I hope it will help you unlock this familiar prayer in new, deeper way. Hebrews rhymed ideas, not words. That’s why it sounds to our ears like they’re always repeating themselves. But it’s not just for show. Find out more here.

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Advice for Kids Going Back to School

Q&A With Pastor Rob

Q: Any advice for kids going back to school?
A: Be yourself. Most people spend huge chunks of their life trying to be the kind of people they think the kind of people that they want to be with would want to be with.

Q: Huh?
A: Exactly.

Q: So what would you suggest instead?
A: Decide ahead of time that you can’t please everyone, and then be very careful about who you choose as friends. We all have a built-in need to fit in, but we also have the God-given ability to choose where. What you’re looking for is a small, trust-worthy crew, the kind of people who will tell you off, and then stick up for you two minutes later. Their opinion matters. Everyone else, you take with a grain of salt. Keep what’s helpful. Ignore the rest.

Q: What about my parents?
A: What about them? They’re not going to be in school with you. This is your first taste of the real world. Your parents will always love you, cheer for you, and be there for you as much as they’re able, but more and more they’re going to step back, not because they want to, but because they have to if you’re ever going to stand on your own. Love on them and learn everything you can from them, but in school, you need a crew.

Q: How do I find friends like that?
A: You start by being one.

God is Not Fair

A sermon based on Matthew 20:1-16

If Americans wrote this story today, it might go like this: Once upon a time God got up at the crack of dawn and called for workers. Everyone who was too lazy to get out of bed got nothing, and the people who worked all day got paid. First, God paid everyone by the hour, but some people complained because they had worked harder. Then God paid them by calories burned, but some people complained because they worked more efficiently. Then God paid them according to the number of leaves pruned, but some people complained because their tree didn’t have as many leaves. And they’re still there to this day, arguing with God over who deserves exactly how much pay. Because the important thing isn’t so much that I get paid, it’s that everyone else get paid less. The end.”

Rev. Doug Gray is the pastor at 2nd Congregational in Beloit, where I got my start. He has three beautiful kids, and whenever one of his kids says, “That’s not fair!” his answer is always the same. “Fare is what you pay for the bus.” He’s said it so many times that they roll their eyes and finish the phrase for him. God is not fair. And for that, we should be very, very grateful.

This story is a hard one, because Jesus never explains it. He just leaves it there for us to figure out. It starts normally enough, the boss gets up before dawn, and goes down to Home Depot to hire some help. He promises a denarius, which at the time of Jesus, was a standard day’s wage. If the story stopped there, the moral would be clear. God is fair.  Show up early, work hard, and you’ll have a good life.

denarius

One Denarius. Original work by Ancient Art. Click the picture for more.


Some of you, I’d even say most of you, fit that story to a T. You’ve heard of the Paretto principle, right? That’s you. You are the 20% that do 80% of the work. I know because I see you. You work your tail off. You show up week after week. You volunteer for boards, and service projects and teams. You donate money even though things are tight. When the church needs something bought, you don’t go to the Trustees. You just go buy it. When the church needs something done, you don’t go to the Deacons. You just go do it.

I know… because this church would never have made it 150 years if it weren’t true. It’s what makes any church, but especially a small church, work. And honestly, you don’t get nearly the recognition you deserve. “Thank you” is the only pay we can offer as a church, and sometimes you don’t even get that. So thank you. Thank you for everything you do that no one ever sees. Thank you for giving even when it’s hard. Thank you to the faithful few who show up early and work all day.

But that’s not the end of the story. The landowner goes back down to Home Depot at 9am. The day has already started. They know they don’t deserve a full denarius. Instead, he promises to pay them whatever is fair. The story never says why they were late. Maybe they had a good reason, maybe they just overslept. Either way, it’s still early. There’s still plenty to do. So, off they go.

Maybe this is you. Maybe you didn’t feel comfortable with all those accolades, because you don’t feel you deserve them. You can’t make it to church every Sunday, you don’t have time to sit on a board, or you can’t afford to give. You just do what you can. There are a few here today, but where I run into this the most is around town. I can always tell, because they apologize, even though I’m not yelling.  All I have to do is exist, and people feel guilty. Because they’re not really apologizing to me.

If that’s you, then hear the good news in this story. You are welcome too. God’s kingdom is not just for super-saints. The-people-who-do-what-they-can still get a full day’s wage. There is good work to do here, necessary work that will bear fruit. Don’t let a misplaced sense of guilt stop you from doing what you can. And don’t ever let someone who’s been here longer get between you and God, or the work God has for you.

This is where it gets really interesting. The landowner goes out at noon, at three, and at five. Noon means no matter how fast they get there, they’re already doing less than half a day’s work. And five means they’re doing less than one hour of work before they go home. At this point, the landlord finally asks, ‘Why have you been standing here all day doing nothing?’  And they say, “Because no one hired us.” Which he knows is a lie because he’s was there at 6, at 9, at noon, at 3, and now at 5pm. They don’t have a job because they didn’t show up! But he just says, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard.’

One hour later, the foreman pays them. And the boss specifically says to pay the slackers first. Can’t you just see the early birds getting angrier and angrier? “I worked my tail off all day and I get the same as that schmuck who got up at the crack of noon? My shirt is sopping. He hasn’t even broken a sweat. That’s not fair!  And the boss says, “Fare is what you pay for the bus.”  Ok, not really. He says, “You’re getting exactly what you agreed to. As for the rest, it’s my money! Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you jealous because I am generous?

The story is really about the landowner. This is someone who values people more than his own time and money. This is someone who sees the need we all have for meaningful work. This is someone who sees the kids who need to eat, even though their dad is a slacker. This is someone who sees past our failures to our potential, who would rather restore than judge. That’s the kind of God we serve.

Or maybe it’s about the ones who showed up late. God is happy to hire us, but we have to show up. You can come at 6, at 9, at noon, at 3, even at 5. But at some point the sun is going to set. We’ve been offered life and purpose, but we still have to accept it. God is happy to pay us more than we deserve, but we still have to do the work.

Those are all true and good, but I think it’s mostly a special message for the early birds, the amazing 20%, the faithful few who do most of the work. You have everything. Everything they lack, you already have. You have drive. You have purpose. Your life has meaning. You have good work and generous wages. Isn’t that enough? When will you finally stop worrying about what everyone else has and enjoy what you have? Why are you letting someone else decide when you get to be happy? Because friends, let’s face it. In our heart of hearts, we all showed up at 5.

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First preached at First Congregational Church of Saugatuck on September 18, 2011.

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God is Not Fair is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

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9-11: Still Angry? Here’s Your Get Out of Guilt Free Card


Every time a preacher starts talking about forgiveness, someone says, “Oh yeah? What about Osama? What about Hitler? What about pedophiles?  You want me to forgive them?” For some of you, this is not theoretical. It’s personal. You’ve seen evil up close. Even thinking about having to forgive makes you hurt inside. So don’t. I’m giving you my personal pastoral get out of guilt free card. My pastor says I can hate one truly evil person for free. I will give it to you, if you give me this in return: most of life is not a facedown with evil. Most of life looks more like this comic from xkcd.xkcd: Duty Calls

Can we all agree that some things really are evil, but most things are not? So it’s not “How can you forgive the unforgivable?”  The real life question is, “How do we live with each other without strangling each other?”

Look at Peter’s question. He doesn’t ask, “How many times should I forgive Caesar?” He wants to know, “How many times do I have to forgive my brother or sister.” Not Hitler, not Osama. My brother or sister, my spouse, my fellow church member. How many times should I forgive them?  Which of course really means, “As a Christian, what’s the minimum number of times I have to give someone a pass before I can unload on them?”  The rabbis said three. So Peter is really stretching here. He knows Jesus takes this stuff seriously, so Peter takes the usual 3, doubles it, and adds one to get 7, the number of perfection. “How forgiving do we have to be, Jesus?  How about double plus one? That’ll show ‘em.”

And Jesus says what?  Not seven, but seventy times seven. You want to be perfect? Be perfect times perfect. Forgiveness is not a scorecard, it’s a way of life. It’s who you are.  “But that’s ridiculous!  That’s impossible! That’s just plain wrong. What about maniacs, and pedophiles, and terrorists?” Jesus, as usual, tells a story.

We call it the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.  We ought to call it the two-minute reality check. Most of the time, we’re not facing off with evil incarnate. Most of the time, it’s not about abuse or betrayal. Most of the time we’re upset over the moral equivalent of five bucks.

When you get angry, you body releases Adrenaline and Cortisol. When you’re fighting a bear, that’s awesome. Blood pressure, oxygen, and glucose levels jump. All secondary functions, like high-level rational thought, get shunted. Your senses, strength, and reflexes increase and your thoughts are laser focused on what’s immediately in front of you. You fight the bear, run away, and everything goes back to normal. No problem.

But what if you’re not fighting a bear? What if you get angry 14 times a day? What if you live in a near constant state of anger? Your blood pressure never drops. You can’t sleep, but you feel tired all the time. Your memory starts to slip.  Given enough time you will burn out your internal organs and shorten your life. In one study of almost 13,000 subjects, those with the highest levels of anger were three times more likely to have a heart attack, compared to the subjects with the lowest anger levels.

We need to change our perspective. The primary relationship is not between you and some idiot. The primary relationship is between you and God. Once you get the context right, everything else falls into place. What you believe changes your perspective, and your perspective changes how you treat everyone.

Yes, I said everyone. Even Hitler. Even Osama. Even the person that did that truly evil thing that you are still carrying around with you everywhere you go. Now, don’t get your back up. You still have your get out of guilt free card. I said it, and I meant it. This is not about guilt. I like you people, and forgiveness will help you stick around longer. It will also help you solve your problems better.

You know the most insane part of this entire thing? When we’re mad, we feel like we want to kill somebody, they don’t even know. And if they do know, most of them don’t even care! They’re wrong and they’re fine. We’re right, and we’re killing ourselves! How smart is that? Osama is dead. The 9/11 hijackers are dead. And yet a decade later and we still carry the anger and the fear. Brothers and sisters, they are not worthy of that much power. They are not worthy of that much attention. They are not worthy of that victory.

They wanted you dead, so live. They wanted you paralyzed by fear, so move forward. They wanted you enslaved, so be free. Forgiveness does all of those things. It allows you to step out of your anger, back into the land of rational thought that might actually solve the problem.

I just got attacked by a bear. I don’t want that happening again. What should I do now? Maybe I should get out of its den and stop harassing its cubs. Maybe I should build a fence to keep it out of my house. Maybe I should buy and gun and shoot it.

I have no idea. It’s an imaginary bear! But I do know we will never solve the problem as long as we’re stomping around saying, “I can’t believe that bear attacked me!  That’s not fair. Stupid bear.  I hate bears.”  As long as your anger is running your mind, your rational brain is off.

Our greatest enemy is not evil. It is the shortsightedness, apathy, and despair that stops good people from doing what they can to fix real problems. Do not let anger eat you. Let it motivate you. That’s why God gave it to you.

Your emotions are a compass. They point you in a direction. It completely defeats the purpose of the compass to sit in one spot and stare at it. Osama is an excuse. Hitler is a distraction. Because being angry at things lets us avoid the deeper work we need to do. The person we really have a hard time forgiving is… Yes! It doesn’t matter how powerless or innocent we are. We will find a way to make it our fault.

My husband beats me. Well I guess I shouldn’t have made him mad. My wife belittles me, well I guess I shouldn’t be so stupid. My parents got divorced. I guess I should have been a better kid. Someone I love died and I’m still alive. But it should have been me. How in the world do I forgive myself for that?

Remember the parable? The person we’re shaking down for five dollars is us! We are we holding ourselves to a higher standard than God.  God’s Son walked among us, and his consistent message from word one was, “God loves you.” And when we killed him for telling the truth and being good to people, his last words were “Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they do.” Let. It. Go.

Yes, it is hard. Yes, it’s possible. He proved it, and so has every saint through history that followed his example. Forgiveness is a kingdom life skill, and you learn it the same way you learn anything else: by practicing. Change your perspective and practice every day. If you need help getting started, this church is full of people who are willing to annoy you. And the beauty of it is most of them actually mean well, so it’s a great place to begin. Hold onto that card as long as you need it, so you can learn to let it go.

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First preached at First Congregational Church of Saugatuck on September 11, 2011.
Text: Matthew 18:21-35

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9-11: Still Angry? Here’s Your Get Out of Guilt Free Card is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

Link to revsmilez.com.

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Love your enemies. It drives them nuts!

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Don’t you love that? “Be kind to your enemies. It drives them nuts!” Stop apologizing for having feelings! It’s not like God is surprised. If someone is rude or cruel to you, you’re going to feel angry. That’s not evil. That means your sense of justice still works. You’re agreeing with God that there is a right and a wrong. Obviously, doing good maliciously isn’t the height of love, but if that’s where you’re at, it’s a whole lot better than taking revenge, right? Do what you can do.

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Five Extra Minutes

What’s the best piece of practical advice you ever received? That’s the question I asked around town this week. Some responses were pretty standard. Don’t spit into the wind. Don’t lick a flagpole in the winter. Some were profound. Only have as many friends as you can count on one hand.  Or, if people have to tell you they are something, they’re probably not. My favorite came from Dann Howitt.

He told me a story about his grandpa, an honest-to-goodness Canadian Mountie. One day,  Dann and his grandpa were doing the dishes. Dann handed him a fork, and Grandpa said, “Is that as clean as you can make it?” Dann worked on it some more, and said, “That’s as clean as I can make it.” His grandpa dried it and put it away. The next day, they decided they were doing the dishes precisely. When they got done, Grandpa pointed at the clock and said, “See that? It took five extra minutes.” Dann remembered that the rest of his life. Five minutes was the difference between just ok, and outstanding.

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