Q&A With Pastor Rob
Q: Any advice for kids going back to school?
A: Be yourself. Most people spend huge chunks of their life trying to be the kind of people they think the kind of people that they want to be with would want to be with.
Q: Huh?
A: Exactly.
Q: So what would you suggest instead?
A: Decide ahead of time that you can’t please everyone, and then be very careful about who you choose as friends. We all have a built-in need to fit in, but we also have the God-given ability to choose where. What you’re looking for is a small, trust-worthy crew, the kind of people who will tell you off, and then stick up for you two minutes later. Their opinion matters. Everyone else, you take with a grain of salt. Keep what’s helpful. Ignore the rest.
Q: What about my parents?
A: What about them? They’re not going to be in school with you. This is your first taste of the real world. Your parents will always love you, cheer for you, and be there for you as much as they’re able, but more and more they’re going to step back, not because they want to, but because they have to if you’re ever going to stand on your own. Love on them and learn everything you can from them, but in school, you need a crew.
Q: How do I find friends like that?
A: You start by being one.
Well spoke. Especially the part about becoming a good friend.
I am thinking about this topic lately,of how people are trying to be normal in order to feel accepted.
I think our desire to be normal is something to overcome. The desire for parents to have normal kids, as understandanble as it is, is actually an obstacle in the development of their kids.
It’s a double-edged sword. Since we’re social beings, failing to fit in can really limit your options. But as you say, trying to be someone else’s idea of normal can stunt your development. The art of relationship is being yourself among others, so as a parent I’m much more interested in teaching my kids relationship skills than in making them fit in or stand out.