Every time a preacher starts talking about forgiveness, someone says, “Oh yeah? What about Osama? What about Hitler? What about pedophiles? You want me to forgive them?” For some of you, this is not theoretical. It’s personal. You’ve seen evil up close. Even thinking about having to forgive makes you hurt inside. So don’t. I’m giving you my personal pastoral get out of guilt free card. My pastor says I can hate one truly evil person for free. I will give it to you, if you give me this in return: most of life is not a facedown with evil. Most of life looks more like this comic from xkcd.
Can we all agree that some things really are evil, but most things are not? So it’s not “How can you forgive the unforgivable?” The real life question is, “How do we live with each other without strangling each other?”
Look at Peter’s question. He doesn’t ask, “How many times should I forgive Caesar?” He wants to know, “How many times do I have to forgive my brother or sister.” Not Hitler, not Osama. My brother or sister, my spouse, my fellow church member. How many times should I forgive them? Which of course really means, “As a Christian, what’s the minimum number of times I have to give someone a pass before I can unload on them?” The rabbis said three. So Peter is really stretching here. He knows Jesus takes this stuff seriously, so Peter takes the usual 3, doubles it, and adds one to get 7, the number of perfection. “How forgiving do we have to be, Jesus? How about double plus one? That’ll show ‘em.”
And Jesus says what? Not seven, but seventy times seven. You want to be perfect? Be perfect times perfect. Forgiveness is not a scorecard, it’s a way of life. It’s who you are. “But that’s ridiculous! That’s impossible! That’s just plain wrong. What about maniacs, and pedophiles, and terrorists?” Jesus, as usual, tells a story.
We call it the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant. We ought to call it the two-minute reality check. Most of the time, we’re not facing off with evil incarnate. Most of the time, it’s not about abuse or betrayal. Most of the time we’re upset over the moral equivalent of five bucks.
When you get angry, you body releases Adrenaline and Cortisol. When you’re fighting a bear, that’s awesome. Blood pressure, oxygen, and glucose levels jump. All secondary functions, like high-level rational thought, get shunted. Your senses, strength, and reflexes increase and your thoughts are laser focused on what’s immediately in front of you. You fight the bear, run away, and everything goes back to normal. No problem.
But what if you’re not fighting a bear? What if you get angry 14 times a day? What if you live in a near constant state of anger? Your blood pressure never drops. You can’t sleep, but you feel tired all the time. Your memory starts to slip. Given enough time you will burn out your internal organs and shorten your life. In one study of almost 13,000 subjects, those with the highest levels of anger were three times more likely to have a heart attack, compared to the subjects with the lowest anger levels.
We need to change our perspective. The primary relationship is not between you and some idiot. The primary relationship is between you and God. Once you get the context right, everything else falls into place. What you believe changes your perspective, and your perspective changes how you treat everyone.
Yes, I said everyone. Even Hitler. Even Osama. Even the person that did that truly evil thing that you are still carrying around with you everywhere you go. Now, don’t get your back up. You still have your get out of guilt free card. I said it, and I meant it. This is not about guilt. I like you people, and forgiveness will help you stick around longer. It will also help you solve your problems better.
You know the most insane part of this entire thing? When we’re mad, we feel like we want to kill somebody, they don’t even know. And if they do know, most of them don’t even care! They’re wrong and they’re fine. We’re right, and we’re killing ourselves! How smart is that? Osama is dead. The 9/11 hijackers are dead. And yet a decade later and we still carry the anger and the fear. Brothers and sisters, they are not worthy of that much power. They are not worthy of that much attention. They are not worthy of that victory.
They wanted you dead, so live. They wanted you paralyzed by fear, so move forward. They wanted you enslaved, so be free. Forgiveness does all of those things. It allows you to step out of your anger, back into the land of rational thought that might actually solve the problem.
I just got attacked by a bear. I don’t want that happening again. What should I do now? Maybe I should get out of its den and stop harassing its cubs. Maybe I should build a fence to keep it out of my house. Maybe I should buy and gun and shoot it.
I have no idea. It’s an imaginary bear! But I do know we will never solve the problem as long as we’re stomping around saying, “I can’t believe that bear attacked me! That’s not fair. Stupid bear. I hate bears.” As long as your anger is running your mind, your rational brain is off.
Our greatest enemy is not evil. It is the shortsightedness, apathy, and despair that stops good people from doing what they can to fix real problems. Do not let anger eat you. Let it motivate you. That’s why God gave it to you.
Your emotions are a compass. They point you in a direction. It completely defeats the purpose of the compass to sit in one spot and stare at it. Osama is an excuse. Hitler is a distraction. Because being angry at things lets us avoid the deeper work we need to do. The person we really have a hard time forgiving is… Yes! It doesn’t matter how powerless or innocent we are. We will find a way to make it our fault.
My husband beats me. Well I guess I shouldn’t have made him mad. My wife belittles me, well I guess I shouldn’t be so stupid. My parents got divorced. I guess I should have been a better kid. Someone I love died and I’m still alive. But it should have been me. How in the world do I forgive myself for that?
Remember the parable? The person we’re shaking down for five dollars is us! We are we holding ourselves to a higher standard than God. God’s Son walked among us, and his consistent message from word one was, “God loves you.” And when we killed him for telling the truth and being good to people, his last words were “Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they do.” Let. It. Go.
Yes, it is hard. Yes, it’s possible. He proved it, and so has every saint through history that followed his example. Forgiveness is a kingdom life skill, and you learn it the same way you learn anything else: by practicing. Change your perspective and practice every day. If you need help getting started, this church is full of people who are willing to annoy you. And the beauty of it is most of them actually mean well, so it’s a great place to begin. Hold onto that card as long as you need it, so you can learn to let it go.
First preached at First Congregational Church of Saugatuck on September 11, 2011.
Text: Matthew 18:21-35
9-11: Still Angry? Here’s Your Get Out of Guilt Free Card is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.
Link to revsmilez.com.
