Here are a couple you might want to use in a talk about humility and pride.
A minister was walking down the street when he saw a circle of boys, shouting cheering. In the center of the circle, he saw a dog. Fearing for the dog’s safety, the minister poked his nose into the circle. “What’s going on here?” he demanded. The oldest said, “It’s just a stray. We all want him, so we’re having a contest to decide who gets him. Whoever tells the biggest lie wins.”
The minister was furious. “You should not be telling lies. Don’t you know it’s a sin to lie? When I was your age, I never told a lie!”
The boys all hung their heads in silence. The youngest gave a deep sigh and said, “Fine, give him the dog.”
Jesus used humor a lot. It deflates pride. It sneaks past our defenses. It helps us to see what we’ve become so used to that it doesn’t bother us any more. Here’s another one along the same lines.
A pastor is trapped in a lifeboat on stormy seas. Terrified, he cries out to God, “I know you’re there, God. I know you’re real. I’ve preached for you and prayed for you my entire life and I’ve never asked you for anything. Now, in my hour of need, come rescue me.
Just as he says amen, a light shoots down from the sky, and he says, “The fiery chariot of Elijah!” But it’s just a Coast Guard chopper, so he waves them off. “God will rescue me, go rescue someone else who needs it more.” Then he sees a shape rising from the deep and he shouts, “Jonah’s whale has come to swallow me and spit me on dry land!” But it’s only a Navy submarine, so he waves them off. “God will save me! Rescue someone else!” Then he looks through a cresting wave and in a flash of lightning he sees the shape of a man and his heart leaps for joy. “It’s Jesus! He’s walking across the water to me.” But it’s just a Special Forces marine in a wet suit.
The marine wasn’t about to take no for an answer, but just then a wave swept the preacher off the lifeboat and into the deep. He woke, coughing, at the pearly gates. And there was God in all his resplendent glory, and the preacher got angry. “Why didn’t you save me?! I prayed and prayed, but you never came.” And God said, “I sent he Coast Guard, the Navy, and the Marines. What more do you want?”
Keep smiling. Remember, this whole world could have been tofu.
