Jokes from Holy Humor Sunday

"Smiley detail" by renaisancechambara on a Creative Commons License

Here are a few jokes from our Holy Humor Sunday, where we tried to answer the question, “If Jesus rose from the grave, how come his followers look like they’re stuck in a funeral?”

Jokes about pastors:

  • Each Sunday, the old pastor would pull out his pocket-watch on a long chain, and he’d place it gently on the pulpit in front of him. One day a little girl whispered in her grandpa’s ear, “Grandpa, what does that watch mean?” Grandpa said, “Not a thing, honey. Not a thing.”
  • We’re a non-denominational church. We’ll take your fives, your tens, your twenties – any denomination you like.
  • A pillar of the community dies and the whole town gathers for the funeral. The mayor gets up and places a one hundred dollar bill in the casket. The judge gets up and places a second hundred dollar bill in the casket. Then the  Pastor gets up, writes a check for three hundred, and takes two hundred out.

Jokes about the Bible

  • A little boy decided he was going to read the Bible, so he opened his grandma’s huge, old leather-bound bible that had been passed down through the family for generations. As he turned the pages, a fragile, old pressed leaf fell out. He gently picked it up and ran to his grandma, “Grandma! Grandma! I found Adam’s underwear!”

Jokes about Church

  • During his weekly children’s sermon, the Pastor asked the kids, “Why is it so important that we be quiet in church.” A little one answered, “Because people are sleeping.”
  • A man pulls his pastor aside and says, “I need your advice. I think my wife is trying to poison me.” The pastor promises to look into it and calls him back a week later. “I talked to your wife… I talked to your wife for three hours… Take the poison.”
  • You know the definition of a good Baptist brother? Someone who recognizes you on Sunday morning at church, but not on Saturday night at the liquor store.

Jokes about prayer

  • A man was circling the block searching for a parking spot. Finally, after the third time around, he prays, “God, if you help me find a parking spot, I will go to church every Sunday and tithe ten percent of my income.” Immediately, a spot opens up, and the man prays, “Never mind, I found one.”

A trinity joke!

Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, but it’s kind of like three.

Have any good church jokes to share? Leave a comment.

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9 thoughts on “Jokes from Holy Humor Sunday

  1. […]  Holy Humor Sunday on the Sabbath closest to April Fools’.  We’re talking good clean jokes.  Divine humor (after all God spoke through a donkey, Balaam’s ass, to be precise, .  […]

  2. jim says:

    great Site really enjoy it,\Jim

  3. israel says:

    A pastor announces,If u knw ur wife is controlling u,move to the left…All the men in the church moved 2 the left,except one man.D pastor was amazed and asked,how cum ur wife can’t control u?the man kidly replied by saying,Pastor it’s my wife who told me not 2 move frm here…lol

  4. Terri Gilpin says:

    Love your website! If it’s possible to email jokes of the day, I’d greatly appreciate it! Keep up the good work! Take care and God bless! Sincerely, Terri Gilpin :-)

    • Rob says:

      Thanks for the encouragement, Terri. I’m honestly not funny enough to send one a day! Basically I collect them during the year, and save them up for the Sunday after Easter. We call it Bright Sunday, or Holy Humor Sunday and make a whole service out of having a laugh. Not only is it great fun, but it helps people not to freak out. If they don’t like all this silliness, they don’t have to worry. It’ll go back to usual next Sunday. My secret hope, though, is that it will spread infectiously through the rest of the year. Laughter expands. Once you let it out of the box, it’s hard to put it back in the box.

  5. Sue Powell says:

    Did you hear the one about Noah’s ark? Why were there no worms in the apples on Noah’s Ark?
    Because they all came in pairs!!
    Sue

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