Here are a few jokes from our Holy Humor Sunday, where we tried to answer the question, “If Jesus rose from the grave, how come his followers look like they’re stuck in a funeral?”
Jokes about pastors:
- Each Sunday, the old pastor would pull out his pocket-watch on a long chain, and he’d place it gently on the pulpit in front of him. One day a little girl whispered in her grandpa’s ear, “Grandpa, what does that watch mean?” Grandpa said, “Not a thing, honey. Not a thing.”
- We’re a non-denominational church. We’ll take your fives, your tens, your twenties – any denomination you like.
- A pillar of the community dies and the whole town gathers for the funeral. The mayor gets up and places a one hundred dollar bill in the casket. The judge gets up and places a second hundred dollar bill in the casket. Then the Pastor gets up, writes a check for three hundred, and takes two hundred out.
Jokes about the Bible
- A little boy decided he was going to read the Bible, so he opened his grandma’s huge, old leather-bound bible that had been passed down through the family for generations. As he turned the pages, a fragile, old pressed leaf fell out. He gently picked it up and ran to his grandma, “Grandma! Grandma! I found Adam’s underwear!”
Jokes about Church
- During his weekly children’s sermon, the Pastor asked the kids, “Why is it so important that we be quiet in church.” A little one answered, “Because people are sleeping.”
- A man pulls his pastor aside and says, “I need your advice. I think my wife is trying to poison me.” The pastor promises to look into it and calls him back a week later. “I talked to your wife… I talked to your wife for three hours… Take the poison.”
- You know the definition of a good Baptist brother? Someone who recognizes you on Sunday morning at church, but not on Saturday night at the liquor store.
Jokes about prayer
- A man was circling the block searching for a parking spot. Finally, after the third time around, he prays, “God, if you help me find a parking spot, I will go to church every Sunday and tithe ten percent of my income.” Immediately, a spot opens up, and the man prays, “Never mind, I found one.”
A trinity joke!
Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it’s kind of like three.
Have any good church jokes to share? Leave a comment.