God Must Laugh

In an earlier post, I talked about things hold value in a digital age, “generatives” that can’t be copied. From a Christian perspective, these are all chances to serve. Here’s my list of opportunities, and how we miss them.

• Having a wow experience: Was that a sermon or a sleep aid?
• Locality: If you church disappeared, would your neighborhood notice?
• Delivery: If by delivery, you mean we sit here and wait for you to show up, then sure.
• Personalization: What was your name again?
• Authenticity: Kids, behave. We’re in church.
• Rarity: A three point, alliterated sermon? What a delightful surprise!
• Immediacy: We’ll sing any hymn you want.
• Customization: Enjoy your pew.
• Interpretation: God said it, I believe it, that settles it.
• Simplicity: Going green? Great idea! Let’s run it past the subcommittee.
• Expertise: Well-trained to answer your questions about koine greek participles.
• Priority: Biblical wisdom whenever you want, as long as it’s Sunday at 9am.
• Prestige/Reputation: Every funeral, an opportunity advancement.
• Power/Control: If you value your life, do not anger the kitchen ladies.
• Patronage: You can’t change the light bulb; my grandmother donated that light bulb!

Yeah, yeah, it’s fun (and easy) to point out the problems of church life. But lets take this seriously for a second. Suppose for a second that the church actually wants to be a part of the digital age. (Come on, in an infinite number of universes there’s gotta be one, right?) What might that look like? Let’s brainstorm.

• Having a wow experience: Honestly, I’ve already had wow experiences in church. A spot-on sermon, a touching song, unexpected forgiveness, close friendships, peace in the storm.  Of course, any time a church actually follows the teachings of Jesus and feeds the hungry, visits the prisoner, comforts the sick, protects the alien the fatherless and the widow, that’s pretty much guaranteed to make people say wow.
• Locality: What if we expected church members to live close enough that they could walk to church? Then they’d have a vested interest in improving the neighborhood. What if the church got involved in local festivals, not to advertise, but to serve?
• Delivery: If the people are on the web, why isn’t the church? If the people are in the pub, why isn’t the church?
• Personalization: If your church gets big enough that it’s impossible for people to know each other by name, then don’t start a new service; plant a new church.
• Authenticity: What if church weren’t the place where we put on our best face? What if church were the one place we felt safe enough to take off the mask? Moments like that don’t happen in a pew. Maybe on a retreat, or in a small group meeting at someone’s home, but not in a pew.
• Rarity: How about silence? I can get preached at whenever I want. I can get music I like whenever I want. But how often can I find silence? When I speak, how often do I feel like anyone is actually listening? How often does someone spend time with me without wanting anything from me?
• Immediacy: You can’t get more immediate than live, so that’s something. But what about sharing that immediacy with people who can’t/won’t go to church? Streaming services with live chat rooms?
• Customization: How about a service that is planned like a choose your own adventure, where the people choose what happens next?
• Interpretation: What if we posted the sermon on Monday, invited rebuttals from different schools of thought to be posted Wednesday, opened the whole thing for comments, and gleaned the best of it all to share on Sunday morning?
• Simplicity: Honestly, I’m a bit stumped here because Christianity was never meant to make your life easier. Just the opposite in fact. It’s much easier to go with the flow. Following the way of the cross means running counter to the world, and suffering for it, intentionally. Maybe the simplicity comes from admitting it instead of trying to dress it up like a get rich quick scheme.
• Expertise: What if we outsourced the church? Outsource the money to an accountant, the building to a maintenance specialist, the endowment to a fund raiser, the advertising to an ad agency, the events to an event planner, the boards to an HR firm specializing in the care and feeding of volunteers, and let the pastor focus on prayer, scripture, and getting both as deeply embedded into the life of the church as possible.
• Priority: Another tough one. “The first shall be last, those who wish to lead should serve,” and all that. Maybe the idea here is helping people feel like they’re a priority, and not just someone to call when we need something. Maybe you email sneak previews of the sermon to a randomly chosen group each week and honor their feedback.
• Prestige/Reputation: We’ve got titles galore, but they no longer mean anything to the community outside the congregation. I’m not at all interested in returning to the “glory days” when you had to go to church or suffer social consequences. That’s not faith. That’s conformity under duress. How about we hold each other accountable, and stop making it as easy to join a church as it is to join the local racquetball club?
• Power/Control: We’ve got this one backward. We’ve got power and control locked down. Let’s spread them around a bit. How about arranging the service in such a way that questions are allowed, more than one opinion heard? How about a survey of the neighborhood asking them what’s the most annoying thing we do, and then stop doing it?
• Patronage: I’m honestly torn on this one. “The workman deserves his pay,” sure, but doesn’t it compromise the message a bit? On the other hand, patronage is a simple method for accountability. Maybe we endow the pulpit the way you endow the chair of a university? The pastor is still accountable to the congregation, but any growth doesn’t benefit him/her financially.

What do you think? Any in there worth exploring? Got any crazy ideas of your own to add?